Funny horoscopes 2014
Our funny horoscopes just got funnier with parody astrology! Brought to you by our favourite zodiac expert Ermstrum Galanheit, choose from your astrological star sign and check out your free daily funny horoscope with a beautiful parody of your love and romance readings for 2013. Your very own star-sign profile, whatever zodiac you are, is awaiting your own personal parody! Just click on the appropriate zodiac sign below and you'll be whisked away into a hilarious horoscope journey. Also, don't forget to check your romantic love horoscopes.
Funny Aries Horoscope for Today
The phenomenon of time standing still may occur to you numerous times today. Butter your bread on both sides so that if the bread falls, you'll...
Romantic Aries Horoscope for 2014
Something happens today that will make you sit up and believe that you are here for a purpose. Then a swift rejection will make you crash to the...
Aries Star-Sign Profile
Ariens are probably due for a bit of a come-back. During the 90s and the early part of the 00s...
Funny Taurus Horoscope for Today
Hit it all you want, but the lift will take as long as it will take no matter how forcefully you press the button. You're as transparent as a blast...
Romantic Taurus Horoscope for 2014
Terrible consequences will occur when you fall out with someone today. Make sure you avoid that situation by giving in immediately and giving them...
Taurus Star-Sign Profile
Whilst occasionally malodorous, Taureans are reknowned for their good sense of humor and their ability to laugh at the strangest...
Funny Gemini Horoscope for Today
When "taking out the trash" remember that blood stains don't easily wash out of white shirts. This week will see "a new hope" arrive in the form...
Romantic Gemini Horoscope for 2014
OK, so the stars were pretty much describing a situation where a self-prescribed course of celibacy may help you regain the confidence that is lack...
Gemini Star-Sign Profile
Gemini or "The Twins", is one of the more sensual of star-signs. This sensuality is often marred...
Funny Cancer Horoscope for Today
Install that software, make it a priority! (Don't blame us if your computer starts dissolving) All your better ideas have already been stolen and...
Romantic Cancer Horoscope for 2014
Tenderness ought to be tried whenever possible. Always slapping the ass of your lover during love-making will not always be a turn on. Especially...
Cancer Star-Sign Profile
Cancer, "the sign of the crabs" is (somewhat) ironically one of the signs that is least likely to contract VD...
Funny Leo Horoscope for Today
Try to avoid reading dusty old books that call themselves 'tomes'. Especially if they contain remarkably detailed information about the coming of t...
Romantic Leo Horoscope for 2014
Heaven knows what kinds of things are going to happen you today. All I'm able to tell you is that it's going to be hectic and possibly traumatic.
Leo Star-Sign Profile
Leo - the lion! Strong, powerful, masterly - the Leo has an awesome responsibility to take care of all of us...
Funny Virgo Horoscope for Today
You're generally hopeless with money, so this week should come as a shock to you. You may be better off taking charge of your own laundry today...
Romantic Virgo Horoscope for 2014
This week will see big advances in your love life. Your lonely existence will be replaced with a slightly less lonely existence when you are given...
Virgo Star-Sign Profile
Virgo, "The Virgin", can be far from virginal and is often extremely outgoing, forthcoming and giving...
Funny Libra Horoscope for Today
Almost everything you feel about life is unwarranted. You should feel almost the opposite about life at the moment and embrace your worst fears.
Romantic Libra Horoscope for 2014
"Love in spoonfuls" - a great way to sign off a flirty email, but not a particularly practical way to dole out your feelings. Many people find a sp...
Libra Star-Sign Profile
Librans are sometimes known to go in for wife/husband swapping, and "swinging" appears to be...
Funny Scorpio Horoscope for Today
Celebrities don't find you attractive because you are pond scum in comparison. Body odour may haunt your chances with a certain member of the oppo...
Romantic Scorpio Horoscope for 2014
Destiny awaits you and is waiting with open arms to welcome you into the clubhouse of love. Everything is going perfectly and nothing is going to s...
Scorpio Star-Sign Profile
Scorpions are most often very prim and proper, not enjoying fart jokes or Calvin and Hobbes...
Funny Capricorn Horoscope for Today
Post-it note your entire life and you can become some kind of local hero. You're almost certainly to star on the local news. Your appetites may...
Romantic Capricorn Horoscope for 2014
A potential mate will come to you today and destroy your self confidence. Bizarrely, you will attempt a counter-strike by sharpening your pencils.
Capricorn Star-Sign Profile
Capricornians - the most gentle of all the star signs, always ready to help a friend in need without secretly eyeing...
Funny Pisces Horoscope for Today
Do what you feel is right in your heart. Your computer is filled with Spyware. Please find a way to clean it without forcing me to dole out solicitations...
Romantic Pisces Horoscope for 2014
Although it is true that you are not bound to find love, love may instead find you. If it does, we warn you to be wary since sometimes love can...
Pisces Star-Sign Profile
Pisces are to astrology what the Vulcans are to Star Trek. They are the peacekeepers...
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These pages are intentionally silly - comedy fortunes to not live your life by! Please read our new web page about why laughsend writes these horoscope pages.
Install that software, make it a priority! (Don't blame us if your computer starts dissolving) All your better ideas......
For those looking to go out and about later on in the day, the report shows that everything worsens over time. Moist and fruity with ligh...