Funny horoscopes 2014
Our funny horoscopes just got funnier with parody astrology! Brought to you by our favourite zodiac expert Ermstrum Galanheit, choose from your astrological star sign and check out your free daily funny horoscope with a beautiful parody of your love and romance readings for 2014. Your very own star-sign profile, whatever zodiac you are, is awaiting your own personal parody! Just click on the appropriate zodiac sign below and you'll be whisked away into a hilarious horoscope journey. Also, don't forget to check your romantic love horoscopes.
This week will see "a new hope" arrive in the form of a whiny sand-farmer boy. Login to every site you can and you'll soon understand what the mean...
Funny Aries Horoscope for Today
Everytime you have a weird day you wonder whether there's someone out there controlling your destiny. Is it possible for this kind of thing to happ...
Romantic Aries Horoscope for 2014
Ariens are probably due for a bit of a come-back. During the 90s and the early part of the 00s...
Aries Star-Sign Profile
"Shout, shout, let it all out." A rhyming message which can really help you out today. You have a personality that makes people smile, and that...
Funny Taurus Horoscope for Today
Most of your body is going to become an erogenous zone later this week and you might be awkwardly caught out when even the slightest, even accidental,...
Romantic Taurus Horoscope for 2014
Whilst occasionally malodorous, Taureans are reknowned for their good sense of humor and their ability to laugh at the strangest...
Taurus Star-Sign Profile
Congratulations may be in order this week. Dumb waiters are not Aghanistani asylum seekers - that's a very rascist thought. Your neighbour's taste...
Funny Gemini Horoscope for Today
To love is to show someone how ridiculous you can be when you let your guard down. Some people find that attractive. Some people think you're a...
Romantic Gemini Horoscope for 2014
Gemini or "The Twins", is one of the more sensual of star-signs. This sensuality is often marred...
Gemini Star-Sign Profile
Banking on anyone this week? Don't let them let you down like they did me. I'm still picking up the pieces of a tattered life. The incredible temperature...
Funny Cancer Horoscope for Today
Football hasn't been known, historically, for bringing people together. Today may prove to be the exception to that rule as you'll fall in love...
Romantic Cancer Horoscope for 2014
Cancer, "the sign of the crabs" is (somewhat) ironically one of the signs that is least likely to contract VD...
Cancer Star-Sign Profile
Many of the best lyrics are attributable today. Take into consideration that most songs are about love and adversity. Everything you are thinking...
Funny Leo Horoscope for Today
The evidence for love is staring you in the face but you can't see the forest for the trees. If you find this is true for you, I think the best...
Romantic Leo Horoscope for 2014
Leo - the lion! Strong, powerful, masterly - the Leo has an awesome responsibility to take care of all of us...
Leo Star-Sign Profile
You must relax more, take long walks and fill the bath up really full so that you can soak those weary limbs. Any time you feel restless this week,...
Funny Virgo Horoscope for Today
Be aware that all queues are not necessarily for amazingly happy things like rollercoasters. Some are for terribly bad things like tax returns.
Romantic Virgo Horoscope for 2014
Virgo, "The Virgin", can be far from virginal and is often extremely outgoing, forthcoming and giving...
Virgo Star-Sign Profile
Paris Hilton will "pop round" today for a chat and a biscuit, either in spirit or in person. Incidentally, a small chihuahua will weedle itself...
Funny Libra Horoscope for Today
Charity begins at home. So when you get home remember to give something to your loved one that is unexpected and rude. When questioned you can be a...
Romantic Libra Horoscope for 2014
Librans are sometimes known to go in for wife/husband swapping, and "swinging" appears to be...
Libra Star-Sign Profile
Next time you walk past a 'Hogs Head' pub, go inside and order a drink. Great things will happen there. (This horoscope is not affiliate with any...
Funny Scorpio Horoscope for Today
Deft swift strokes of the hand when writing may be the turn-on that a work-chum needs to show their true feelings for you. However, that love may...
Romantic Scorpio Horoscope for 2014
Scorpions are most often very prim and proper, not enjoying fart jokes or Calvin and Hobbes...
Scorpio Star-Sign Profile
Gift horses always happen to those who least expect it. The moral of this horoscope is: expect a gift horse. Your lucky horse for today is: Sombrero's...
Funny Capricorn Horoscope for Today
Although it is true that you are not bound to find love, love may instead find you. If it does, we warn you to be wary since sometimes love can...
Romantic Capricorn Horoscope for 2014
Capricornians - the most gentle of all the star signs, always ready to help a friend in need without secretly eyeing...
Capricorn Star-Sign Profile
Although similes can often be used as humorous ways to compare something that is banal to something that is funny, you are neither cunning nor weas...
Funny Pisces Horoscope for Today
Love is like a big joke where the punchline doesn't make any sense. Because even after your friends explain it to you it still won't make any sense.
Romantic Pisces Horoscope for 2014
Pisces are to astrology what the Vulcans are to Star Trek. They are the peacekeepers...
Pisces Star-Sign Profile
Remember, our horoscopes change daily, so remember to follow us on Twitter or join us on Facebook for your daily treat! And if you're not at all interested in astrology or the zodiac, you can get a free daily fortune cookie straight in your inbox!
These pages are intentionally silly - comedy fortunes to not live your life by! Please read our new web page about why laughsend writes these horoscope pages.
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This week will see "a new hope" arrive in the form of a whiny sand-farmer boy. Login to every site you can and you'll......