25th July 2014

Your Funny Capricorn Horoscope for Today

Astrological sign for Capricorn


Birth date: 22 December - 19 January

Your capricorn horoscope is a daily reminder of how wonderful you are, but also (we hope) capable of cheering you up when you're a bit down.

The good thing about the internet is that no-one knows quite how disturbingly grotesque you look. It's one thing to pick your nose, but did you notice that your colleague always wipes it in the same place under his desk? Check there when he's not looking - there's a rotting mound of snot just waiting to fall off onto his foot.

If you are extremely tired, you may find that you fall asleep at some point.

Terrible news will filter through to you later today.

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Libra horoscope

Libra horoscope

Itching may be a sign of bad things to come. Creeping around on your tip-toes is all very well and good, but driving......

Full horoscope