AquariusBirth date: 20 January - 18 February
The following is your Aquarius horoscope for today, a funny zodiac reading especially for you.
When opening the door for a stranger, take care to notice any loose change that they may drop so that you can slam the door in their face, grab the money, and then run for dear life.
In the grand scheme of things, today rates as a 0.001.
Take a coat today as you'll need it if it rains or becomes slightly colder than usual. Or if you happen to be caught out whilst parading naked around your local shopping centre.
Magi cannot be expected to turn up at your convenience. However, they will usually leave a calling card asking you to re-arrange a visit.
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