AquariusBirth date: 20 January - 18 February
The following is your Aquarius horoscope for today, a funny zodiac reading especially for you.
Today will seem like a good day for disregarding advice concerning things that are generally considered to be bad for you. Screaming loudly only serves to wake the neighbours. They'll only investigate once they're sure you're dead and the murderer has left the crime scene.
Sandwich is your lucky word for today and is likely to be involved in some sort of belly-filling incident.
The computer you are trying to access has forbidden you entry as it deems your horoscope too scary.
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