Your free, funny Aquarius horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Aquarius

Aquarius

Birth date: 20 January - 18 February

The following is your Aquarius horoscope for today, a funny zodiac reading especially for you.

Chunks of meat will plague you today...or give you the plague. The mystics are being terribly vague on this one. You are weak at heart and must endeavour to become stronger by subjecting yourself to ritualistic torture.

Jesus himself could not have done a better job than you will do today. Although Jesus would probably have a better idea of the correct tenses to use in the previous sentence.

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