Your Funny Aries Horoscope for Monday, 2nd Dec 2019
To view today's horoscope, click here
21 March - 19 April
The pain in your foot will lessen today as the pain in your hand grows. You will start to feel animosity towards forms of public transport and its workers, simultaneously regretting having your foot injured in a closing door and punching the driver.
Whilst we are not all superhuman, some of us are at least able to go to sleep without pissing ourselves in the night.
Although you never really felt like you made a difference yesterday, your kind words and understanding made the world spin 0.0001% faster for approximately 3 nano-seconds.
Laminated wallpaper can be a great idea to turn your walls into washable, wipeable blank canvasses.
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As the fella once said, ain't that a kick in the head. Not that you'll be kicked in the head, it's a metaphor. I mean......
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