Your Funny Aries Horoscope for Monday, 2nd Dec 2019

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Below is your horoscope for the date specified above. Some people think it's unlucky to look at old horoscopes from prior dates but we think it's important in order to be able to gauge the accuracy rates of horoscopes. So, if you want to check your old horoscopes, use our Archive Horoscopes section and enjoy yourself!
star sign: Aries

Aries

21 March - 19 April

The pain in your foot will lessen today as the pain in your hand grows. You will start to feel animosity towards forms of public transport and its workers, simultaneously regretting having your foot injured in a closing door and punching the driver.

Whilst we are not all superhuman, some of us are at least able to go to sleep without pissing ourselves in the night.

Although you never really felt like you made a difference yesterday, your kind words and understanding made the world spin 0.0001% faster for approximately 3 nano-seconds.

Laminated wallpaper can be a great idea to turn your walls into washable, wipeable blank canvasses.


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Given Time, by Paul London

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Scorpio horoscope

This is not the first time you've been caught out. You must really be careful in future. The number 10 may be given......

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