Your Funny Aries Horoscope for Monday, 18th Sep 2023

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Below is your horoscope for the date specified above. Some people think it's unlucky to look at old horoscopes from prior dates but we think it's important in order to be able to gauge the accuracy rates of horoscopes. So, if you want to check your old horoscopes, use our Archive Horoscopes section and enjoy yourself!
star sign: Aries


21 March - 19 April

When opening the door for a stranger, take care to notice any loose change that they may drop so that you can slam the door in their face, grab the money, and then run for dear life.

Sometimes the only way to succeed is by murdering the entire board of directors.

Blimey, you ain't harf as wot you used to, ain't it?

Everywhere you go you seem to run into trouble - try not to mess up your life by falling into any kind of trap.

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Libra horoscope

You may feel like starving yourself today in order to lose some weight. Your lucky drink for today is: Coke. Mouldy......

Full horoscope

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