Your Funny Capricorn Horoscope for Monday, 2nd Dec 2019

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Below is your horoscope for the date specified above. Some people think it's unlucky to look at old horoscopes from prior dates but we think it's important in order to be able to gauge the accuracy rates of horoscopes. So, if you want to check your old horoscopes, use our Archive Horoscopes section and enjoy yourself!
star sign: Capricorn

Capricorn

22 December - 19 January

You may become a danger to yourself this week, especially if you plan to surgically implant spikes on the ends of your fingers. You may never find what you're looking for, but at least you managed to find that picture of the chimp sitting on a toilet reading a newspaper.

Avoid low-level lighting this week, and any power lines that you might have to pass under on the way to work.


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Given Time, by Paul London

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