Your Funny Capricorn Horoscope for Thursday, 11th Jul 2019

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Below is your horoscope for the date specified above. Some people think it's unlucky to look at old horoscopes from prior dates but we think it's important in order to be able to gauge the accuracy rates of horoscopes. So, if you want to check your old horoscopes, use our Archive Horoscopes section and enjoy yourself!
star sign: Capricorn

Capricorn

22 December - 19 January

Release your anger safely, write a story for TheSpoof. Be wary of emails claiming to be from PayPal or eBay - they are almost certainly your "most like a junky" friends trying to get a rise out of you. In fact, they're probably watching you from a webcam placed somewhere around the room you're currently in. We're 99% sure that's where these scam emails come from - people YOU know.

Banning people from your house can work, especially if reinformed with large heavy blocks of swingable wood.

Your neighbour's taste for loud music may cause them to incur an unfortunate accident.


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Given Time, by Paul London

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Cancer horoscope

Your nature may give you a day off this week as you brutally attack the guy who's been purposefully pissing you off......

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