Your Funny Aquarius Horoscope for Friday, 5th Aug 2022

To view today's horoscope, click here

Below is your horoscope for the date specified above. Some people think it's unlucky to look at old horoscopes from prior dates but we think it's important in order to be able to gauge the accuracy rates of horoscopes. So, if you want to check your old horoscopes, use our Archive Horoscopes section and enjoy yourself!
star sign: Aquarius

Aquarius

20 January - 18 February

The partner of your dreams will realise you are unworthy of attention, today. Stock up on junk food and alcohol. This is not the first time you've been caught out. You must really be careful in future.

Horoscopes have always had a tendency to be wrong for you, but today's will be a peach.

Damnation awaits you from every angle. Your only hope is to provide mankind with the cure for greed. This message was brought to you in association with Craaaazy Christians Inc.


« Back to Horoscopes Archive

Given Time, by Paul London

Funny stuff

Get our funny weekly newsletters straight to your inbox
Subscribe to funny newsletter
... AND CLICK
or Find out more first

Consider checking us out and following us on social media:


Leo horoscope

With every passing moment you are pissing away your life reading nonsense on websites. In many ways you should really......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

Tourism booming in Venezuela: A Laughsend Special Report   Punny History  
Create your own Laughsend story
Free sign up / Login
Funny newsletter Funny RSS feed