Your Funny Pisces Horoscope for Monday, 8th Apr 2019

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Below is your horoscope for the date specified above. Some people think it's unlucky to look at old horoscopes from prior dates but we think it's important in order to be able to gauge the accuracy rates of horoscopes. So, if you want to check your old horoscopes, use our Archive Horoscopes section and enjoy yourself!
star sign: Pisces


19 February - 20 March

If you don't claim that free holiday, you'll never win it. In other countries, how you'll feel about this afternoon could get you arrested and shot... at dawn, without a blindfold, and with a stinging sensation in the groin.

It can be scary, sad and lonely. Are you sure you want to go ahead with your plans?

Dentist's teeth are not always as great as you'd think. Next time you're in the chair, instead of looking at the ceiling or down the nurses' top, have a good look inside the dentist's mouth. You'll be surprised, shocked and either intimidated or aroused.

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Given Time, by Paul London

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Pisces horoscope

As the fella once said, ain't that a kick in the head. Not that you'll be kicked in the head, it's a metaphor. I mean......

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