Your Funny Taurus Horoscope for Thursday, 5th Dec 2019
To view today's horoscope, click here
20 April - 20 May
"Thinking strategically" is a cop-out. You did what you did because you're a selfish competitive little person. Any time you feel restless this week, try to imagine what it would be like to take viagra and ritalin at the same time.
Wake up in a trash-can again? Don't let your drinking get you down, go and have a beer.
As the fella once said, ain't that a kick in the head. Not that you'll be kicked in the head, it's a metaphor. I mean, hell, for all I know you *are* going to get kicked in the head, so maybe just wear a helmet for the rest of the day.
« Back to Horoscopes Archive
Get our funny weekly newsletters
straight to your inbox
Consider checking us out and following us on social media:
Looking for a saviour is a commendable past-time. However, ignoring your personal hygiene is a forfeit that you really......
More from Laughsend
Tourism booming in Venezuela:
A Laughsend Special Report