Your Funny Taurus Horoscope for Tuesday, 13th Aug 2019

To view today's horoscope, click here

Below is your horoscope for the date specified above. Some people think it's unlucky to look at old horoscopes from prior dates but we think it's important in order to be able to gauge the accuracy rates of horoscopes. So, if you want to check your old horoscopes, use our Archive Horoscopes section and enjoy yourself!
star sign: Taurus

Taurus

20 April - 20 May

Wearing a hat will only bring true happiness. Think of a number. Now times that number by eighteen. I can confidently predict that your number does not rhyme with "Golfing Umbrella".

Purple clouds are not usual, nor is red rain. You really must stop pretending that the pictures your niece draws are real.

Walking down the street with a spring in your step is a great way to let the world know how insufferable you really are.


« Back to Horoscopes Archive

Given Time, by Paul London

Funny stuff

Get our funny weekly newsletters straight to your inbox
Subscribe to funny newsletter
... AND CLICK
or Find out more first

Consider checking us out and following us on social media:


Leo horoscope

This week, Microsoft Word may define your grammar as "poorly constructed" and full of "run on sentences". The latin......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

Tourism booming in Venezuela: A Laughsend Special Report   Punny History  
Get your own news story published here
Free sign up / Login
Funny newsletter Funny RSS feed