Your Funny Taurus Horoscope for Tuesday, 14th Jan 2020

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Below is your horoscope for the date specified above. Some people think it's unlucky to look at old horoscopes from prior dates but we think it's important in order to be able to gauge the accuracy rates of horoscopes. So, if you want to check your old horoscopes, use our Archive Horoscopes section and enjoy yourself!
star sign: Taurus

Taurus

20 April - 20 May

Although 9/11 still makes you feel like shit, stop moaning on about it. Always meet people you met on the internet in a dark place, preferably a graveyard or a disco.

If you don't claim that free holiday, you'll never win it.

You are weak at heart and must endeavour to become stronger by subjecting yourself to ritualistic torture.


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Given Time, by Paul London

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