Your Funny Taurus Horoscope for Thursday, 14th Mar 2019

To view today's horoscope, click here

Below is your horoscope for the date specified above. Some people think it's unlucky to look at old horoscopes from prior dates but we think it's important in order to be able to gauge the accuracy rates of horoscopes. So, if you want to check your old horoscopes, use our Archive Horoscopes section and enjoy yourself!
star sign: Taurus

Taurus

20 April - 20 May

Astronomy is to gastronomy as it is to git. Dentist's teeth are not always as great as you'd think. Next time you're in the chair, instead of looking at the ceiling or down the nurses' top, have a good look inside the dentist's mouth. You'll be surprised, shocked and either intimidated or aroused.

The cigarette burn mark on your arm may fade over the coming days and will be replaced by a tattoo of a young lady swathed in roses.

Next time you walk past a 'Hogs Head' pub, go inside and order a drink. Great things will happen there. (This horoscope is not affiliate with any 'Hogs Head' drinking establishment.)


« Back to Horoscopes Archive

Funny stuff

Get our funny weekly newsletters straight to your inbox
Subscribe to funny newsletter
... AND CLICK
or Find out more first

Consider checking us out and following us on social media:


Pisces horoscope

Dumb waiters are not Aghanistani asylum seekers - that's a very rascist thought. If it's laughter you're after then......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

Tourism booming in Venezuela: A Laughsend Special Report   Punny History  
Write a funny story here
Free sign up / Login
Funny newsletter Funny RSS feed