Your Funny Taurus Horoscope for Thursday, 14th Mar 2019

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Below is your horoscope for the date specified above. Some people think it's unlucky to look at old horoscopes from prior dates but we think it's important in order to be able to gauge the accuracy rates of horoscopes. So, if you want to check your old horoscopes, use our Archive Horoscopes section and enjoy yourself!
star sign: Taurus


20 April - 20 May

Astronomy is to gastronomy as it is to git. Dentist's teeth are not always as great as you'd think. Next time you're in the chair, instead of looking at the ceiling or down the nurses' top, have a good look inside the dentist's mouth. You'll be surprised, shocked and either intimidated or aroused.

The cigarette burn mark on your arm may fade over the coming days and will be replaced by a tattoo of a young lady swathed in roses.

Next time you walk past a 'Hogs Head' pub, go inside and order a drink. Great things will happen there. (This horoscope is not affiliate with any 'Hogs Head' drinking establishment.)

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