Your Funny Cancer Horoscope for Saturday, 16th Feb 2019

To view today's horoscope, click here

Below is your horoscope for the date specified above. Some people think it's unlucky to look at old horoscopes from prior dates but we think it's important in order to be able to gauge the accuracy rates of horoscopes. So, if you want to check your old horoscopes, use our Archive Horoscopes section and enjoy yourself!
star sign: Cancer

Cancer

22 June - 22 July

Your lucky drink for today is: Coke. Perhaps it's true that you're not the immense stud you once were. Compact Discs are very shiny, but using them to attract seagulls in order to bludgeon them to death with your shoe is neither good manners nor entirely legal.


« Back to Horoscopes Archive

Funny stuff

Get our funny weekly newsletters straight to your inbox
Subscribe to funny newsletter
... AND CLICK
or Find out more first

Consider checking us out and following us on social media:


Gemini horoscope

The feeling you have inside will be thrown into sharp relief when your bowel is emptied. A horoscope writer nearby......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

Tourism booming in Venezuela: A Laughsend Special Report   Punny History  
Write a funny story here
Free sign up / Login
Funny newsletter Funny RSS feed