Your Funny Cancer Horoscope for Thursday, 25th May 2023
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Cancer
22 June - 22 July
The cigarette burn mark on your arm may fade over the coming days and will be replaced by a tattoo of a young lady swathed in roses. A nearby construction company may approach you this morning in an attempt to fool you into thinking that the world is about to explode.
Your "rustic charms" are not an excuse for being smelly and dirty.
The story of the tortoise and the hare will make you rethink things over the coming week. Like, how lazy was that hare, eh? Jeez, I mean, that bunny should've whupped that table ornament.
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