Your Funny Virgo Horoscope for Saturday, 12th Jan 2019

To view today's horoscope, click here

Below is your horoscope for the date specified above. Some people think it's unlucky to look at old horoscopes from prior dates but we think it's important in order to be able to gauge the accuracy rates of horoscopes. So, if you want to check your old horoscopes, use our Archive Horoscopes section and enjoy yourself!
star sign: Virgo

Virgo

23 August - 22 September

Dancing around like a fairy is a great way to lose weight and strengthen those legs. Your selfish ways will not improve this week as you win a sizeable jackpot on the lottery.

The chance for change has long since left you.

Rumour has it that hotdogs might be 90% snout. But you, sir, are 100% arse.


« Back to Horoscopes Archive

Funny stuff

Get our funny weekly newsletters straight to your inbox
Subscribe to funny newsletter
... AND CLICK
or Find out more first

Consider checking us out and following us on social media:


Pisces horoscope

Your ideas are plentiful, but are your plenties ideaful? Other bullshit may come your way today. You have recently......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

Snow shock! Met Office claims, "It's not easy predicting the weather".   Paige Van Zant following second round submission win over Rachael Ostovich at UFC Fight Night 143: Bring on Valentina Shevchenko  
Create your own Laughsend story
Free sign up / Login
Funny newsletter Funny RSS feed