Your Funny Scorpio Horoscope for Friday, 1st Mar 2024

To view today's horoscope, click here

Below is your horoscope for the date specified above. Some people think it's unlucky to look at old horoscopes from prior dates but we think it's important in order to be able to gauge the accuracy rates of horoscopes. So, if you want to check your old horoscopes, use our Archive Horoscopes section and enjoy yourself!
star sign: Scorpio

Scorpio

24 October - 21 November

In time you will come to realise the futility of trying to scratch your name in your refridgerator using a rubber band. Your appetites may diminish today as you fall into a vat of gravy with no inside ladder.

Put your mental abilities to the test today and try to figure out how best to spend the money you have in a non-frivolous way.


« Back to Horoscopes Archive


Sagittarius horoscope

Do you have any idea what you're letting yourself in for? Boy, I'm sure glad I'm not you. Your lucky drink for today......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

thumbnail for Celine Dion news story Titanic Wreck Scanned, Celine Dion Weeps With Envy thumbnail for Bush news story George W Bush to Take Over as the New Host of The Price is Right and Finally Find the Weapons of Mass Destruction
Funny RSS feed