Your Funny Scorpio Horoscope for Thursday, 11th Jul 2019

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Below is your horoscope for the date specified above. Some people think it's unlucky to look at old horoscopes from prior dates but we think it's important in order to be able to gauge the accuracy rates of horoscopes. So, if you want to check your old horoscopes, use our Archive Horoscopes section and enjoy yourself!
star sign: Scorpio

Scorpio

24 October - 21 November

Starving yourself does not help you lose weight. In fact, it can be very detrimental to your health. You ask any dead person and they'll say: "Yep, that's right, I'm very thin!"

You are overworked and underpaid. Man, I'm good at this horoscope lark, aren't I?

Your ideas are plentiful, but are your plenties ideaful? Other bullshit may come your way today.

You're as transparent as a blast of canned air - try to be more complex by wearing hats that are clearly too small for your head.


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Given Time, by Paul London

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