Aries
Birth date: 21 March - 19 AprilYour Aries horoscope for today. We hope you enjoy this funny look at the day ahead - check us out on Twitter for daily updates on your funny daily horoscopes!
The cigarette burn mark on your arm may fade over the coming days and will be replaced by a tattoo of a young lady swathed in roses. We having a saying here in Texas: "Kill a man and he's dead. Teach a man to fight and he can kill...stuff" Shame on me. Shame on you.
You are easily replaced - don't take your boots off.
The odds are always on your side today, so don't be afraid to experiment.
More from Laughsend
Titanic Wreck Scanned, Celine Dion Weeps With Envy George W Bush to Take Over as the New Host of The Price is Right and Finally Find the Weapons of Mass DestructionLooking for more funny star sign related laughs?
Our most popular funny stories