Your funny Aries horoscope for today

Aries

Birth date: 21 March - 19 April

Your Aries horoscope for today. We hope you enjoy this funny look at the day ahead - check us out on Twitter for daily updates on your funny daily horoscopes!

You're a mug. You always have been and you always will be. Change, and your friends will stop liking you as much. Changing your lifestyle and underwear are always a good start.

Experimenting with animals isn't always wrong. Here's a handy hint: If you're smuggling drugs, take some catnip - Dogs love that stuff too.

Dogs can be a man's best friend or a woman's best friend. They could also be a child's best friend, or a cat's best friend. Dogs are totally flexible.

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