Your funny Aries horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Aries

Aries

Birth date: 21 March - 19 April

Your Aries horoscope for today. We hope you enjoy this funny look at the day ahead - check us out on Facebook and Twitter for daily updates on your funny daily horoscopes!

With every passing moment you are pissing away your life reading nonsense on websites. In many ways you should really go now, but instead you're fascination by this crazy online world of surreal shenanigans. Oooh like, there's a little birdie!...oh no, sorry, it's an email. What's prettier, eh? You silly online surfing human person!

The differences between you and your peers sets you apart. And by apart, I mean they're thinking of relocating you so that you're as far apart as physically possible.

The lights are on, nobody's home and it's time to download some porn off the internet.

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