Your funny Aries horoscope for today

Aries

Birth date: 21 March - 19 April

Your Aries horoscope for today. We hope you enjoy this funny look at the day ahead - check us out on Twitter for daily updates on your funny daily horoscopes!

Malicious gossip may reach your ears this week and cause a great deal of paranoia. Alcohol can be a man's best friend - not a dog...well, perhaps a dog who's been pickled in alcohol.

Your lucky goat name for today is: Penelope.

Jump to another horoscope »  select a star sign! Aries (21 Mar - 19 Apr)Taurus (20 Apr - 20 May)Gemini (21 May - 21 Jun)Cancer (22 Jun - 22 Jul)Leo (23 Jul - 22 Aug)Virgo (23 Aug - 22 Sep)Libra (23 Sep - 23 Oct)Scorpio (24 Oct - 21 Nov)Sagittarius (22 Nov - 21 Dec)Capricorn (22 Dec - 19 Jan)Aquarius (20 Jan - 18 Feb)Pisces (19 Feb - 20 Mar)

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