Your funny Aries horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Aries

Aries

Birth date: 21 March - 19 April

Your Aries horoscope for today. We hope you enjoy this funny look at the day ahead - check us out on Twitter for daily updates on your funny daily horoscopes!

The cigarette burn mark on your arm may fade over the coming days and will be replaced by a tattoo of a young lady swathed in roses. We having a saying here in Texas: "Kill a man and he's dead. Teach a man to fight and he can kill...stuff" Shame on me. Shame on you.

You are easily replaced - don't take your boots off.

The odds are always on your side today, so don't be afraid to experiment.

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