Your funny Aries horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Aries

Aries

Birth date: 21 March - 19 April

Your Aries horoscope for today. We hope you enjoy this funny look at the day ahead - check us out on Twitter for daily updates on your funny daily horoscopes!

"Saucy!" should not be used as a synonym for sweaty. Spiders have feelings too - an undeniable but ultimately useless fact when the vacuum cleaner strikes!

The number I am thinking of is 12. This is not the number you are thinking of, especially if you are not thinking of a number.

The night may feel like a safe time to parade naked through the local city streets, however, you may find there are some that oppose your freedom.

Given Time, by Paul London Given Time, by Paul London

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