Your funny Aries horoscope for today

Avoid low-level lighting this week, and any power lines that you might have to pass under on the way to work. Testing your ability to walk on water should be done at the beach, not in the middle of the atlantic. This is just an analogy to some part of your life which is not entirely clear to me.

Watch out for overweight dogs when it's raining.

Oil in your lamp may keep you burning till the break of day. Or it could spill over and set fire to your new shoes.

Interested to know if Yesterday's Horoscope was correct?