Your funny Aries horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Aries

Aries

Birth date: 21 March - 19 April

Your Aries horoscope for today. We hope you enjoy this funny look at the day ahead - check us out on Facebook and Twitter for daily updates on your funny daily horoscopes!

Screaming "Death to the Infidel!" as you're walking through busy airports or shopping centres, will leave you with bruises in special places. The countries that have issued orders for your arrest will close in today and cause you to go without clean pants for two days.

The long and winding road will not necessarily lead you to Paul McCartney. Which really should be a good thing, other than the fact that the man's got millions and could make you into an international superstar.

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