Your funny Aries horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Aries

Aries

Birth date: 21 March - 19 April

Your Aries horoscope for today. We hope you enjoy this funny look at the day ahead - check us out on Facebook and Twitter for daily updates on your funny daily horoscopes!

When gazing upon the face of a loved one, close your mouth and stop babbling on about how much you wish that restraining order had been quashed. Release your anger safely, write a story for TheSpoof.

Hit it all you want, but the lift will take as long as it will take no matter how forcefully you press the button.

Get Daily Aries Horoscopes in your Inbox

Get your daily horoscope newsletter

More from Laughsend

Germany to cancel open air Christmas markets   "Controversial" Family Feud question and answer spark social media outrage  




Interested to know if Yesterday's Horoscope was correct?

Funny stuff

Get our daily horoscope newsletter straight to your inbox
Subscribe to funny horoscope newsletter
... AND CLICK
or Find out more first

Consider checking us out and following us on social media:

More from Laughsend

Germany to cancel open air Christmas markets   "Controversial" Family Feud question and answer spark social media outrage  
Get your own news story published here
Free sign up / Login
Funny newsletter Funny RSS feed