Your funny Aries horoscope for today

There are lots of ideas screaming to be let out of your head. Let them free, and they'll scream in other people's heads too! With every passing moment you are pissing away your life reading nonsense on websites. In many ways you should really go now, but instead you're fascination by this crazy online world of surreal shenanigans. Oooh like, there's a little birdie!...oh no, sorry, it's an email. What's prettier, eh? You silly online surfing human person!

Your sub-conscience may decide to rebel against you today and force you to re-remember everything you had managed to block out.

Damage To The Central Nervous System - a phrase you're going to be hearing a lot over the coming days.

Interested to know if Yesterday's Horoscope was correct?