AriesBirth date: 21 March - 19 April
Your Aries horoscope for today. We hope you enjoy this funny look at the day ahead - check us out on Twitter for daily updates on your funny daily horoscopes!
Avoid low-level lighting this week, and any power lines that you might have to pass under on the way to work. Testing your ability to walk on water should be done at the beach, not in the middle of the atlantic. This is just an analogy to some part of your life which is not entirely clear to me.
Watch out for overweight dogs when it's raining.
Oil in your lamp may keep you burning till the break of day. Or it could spill over and set fire to your new shoes.
More from LaughsendTitanic Wreck Scanned, Celine Dion Weeps With Envy George W Bush to Take Over as the New Host of The Price is Right and Finally Find the Weapons of Mass Destruction
Looking for more funny star sign related laughs?
Our most popular funny stories