Your free, funny Gemini horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Gemini

Gemini

Birth date: 21 May - 21 June

Your Gemini horoscope for today is both happy and sad. Happy that you're looking at it, and sad that you're going to click away while shaking your head.

We having a saying here in Texas: "Kill a man and he's dead. Teach a man to fight and he can kill...stuff" Shame on me. Shame on you. Avoid happy thoughts, they'll only bring you down with a crash.

When trying to take the top of a bottle of paracetamol, you may find yourself contemplating destroying the universe.

Given Time, by Paul London Given Time, by Paul London

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