Your free, funny Gemini horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Gemini

Gemini

Birth date: 21 May - 21 June

Your Gemini horoscope for today is both happy and sad. Happy that you're looking at it, and sad that you're going to click away while shaking your head.

Love makes the world go round, and peaches make a very nice accompaniment to sweetcorn. Find yourself someone to settle down with today. Don't be choosy - just pick at random. If random fails, go for whoever doesn't violently sick-up on your clothing.

The story of the tortoise and the hare will make you rethink things over the coming week. Like, how lazy was that hare, eh? Jeez, I mean, that bunny should've whupped that table ornament.

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