GeminiBirth date: 21 May - 21 June
Your Gemini horoscope for today is both happy and sad. Happy that you're looking at it, and sad that you're going to click away while shaking your head.
If you lose money today you can be assured that the nature of human kindness will mean you never see it again. This is because today the nature of human kindness is to be as mean as an old woman the day before pension day.
Being righteous will only make you enemies.
Assume everyone's an idiot today and you may find yourself being patronising and brilliantly witty.
More from LaughsendFormer UK Speaker Betty Boothroyd Mourned by Nation, Fondly Remembered for Whoopie Cushion Shenanigans Brexit Supply Chain Issues Bring Joy to School Children: No More Vegetables Means More Pizza and Sweeties!
Looking for more funny star sign related laughs?
Our most popular funny stories