Your free, funny Libra horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Libra

Libra

Birth date: 23 September - 23 October

Your daily Libra horoscope is here to give you a cuddle, and possibly a kiss if things are looking like that would be acceptable.

Sandwiches often seem harmless until they force their way into your stomach and start screaming and banging. Ketchup and Katsup are essentially the same thing. But a brown-sauce is not always a brown-sauce.

Your appetites may diminish today as you fall into a vat of gravy with no inside ladder.

Alcohol can be a man's best friend - not a dog...well, perhaps a dog who's been pickled in alcohol.

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