Your free, funny Sagittarius horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Sagittarius

Sagittarius

Birth date: 22 November - 21 December

The following is your daily Sagittarian funny horoscope, which has been hand carved by the elders and passed down through centuries of parody astrology.

Whilst we are not all superhuman, some of us are at least able to go to sleep without pissing ourselves in the night. The best way to fool a man into giving away a biscuit is to let him know that you know where it's been. Don't give any details, just let it casually be known that you "know where it's been". How is this relevant to you today? You'll see. You and biscuits are going to be inseparable.

All the advice I could share with you would blow your mind and leave nothing to the imagination.

You have many more years ahead of you.

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