Your free, funny Sagittarius horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Sagittarius

Sagittarius

Birth date: 22 November - 21 December

The following is your daily Sagittarian funny horoscope, which has been hand carved by the elders and passed down through centuries of parody astrology.

The stars predict rocky times for you and a loved one. Avoid making love in cramped places. Blue moon caught you standing alone, but ensure you're not also caught short this weekend.

As the fella once said, ain't that a kick in the head. Not that you'll be kicked in the head, it's a metaphor. I mean, hell, for all I know you *are* going to get kicked in the head, so maybe just wear a helmet for the rest of the day.

You will find you get better sex advice if you stop talking to what you call "little people" in your nearby park.

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