Your free, funny Sagittarius horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Sagittarius

Sagittarius

Birth date: 22 November - 21 December

The following is your daily Sagittarian funny horoscope, which has been hand carved by the elders and passed down through centuries of parody astrology.

Buying a T-Shirt proclaiming your bald patch is a solar panel for a sex machine is a good idea. Peaches and cream - if only more things were like these two beautiful, oft-paired, delights.

Broken bones may become a problem for you this week as you take a walk through a cemetry only to fall into a recently dug-out grave. Screaming seems to be on the agenda for you, too.

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