Your free, funny Sagittarius horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Sagittarius

Sagittarius

Birth date: 22 November - 21 December

The following is your daily Sagittarian funny horoscope, which has been hand carved by the elders and passed down through centuries of parody astrology.

If it's tasty, then lap it up. If not, don't. This is the best course of action for this week. You are trapped in a cave with a panther and a sound system playing Michael Bolton's greatest hits. What do you do?

Think of a number. Now times that number by eighteen. I can confidently predict that your number does not rhyme with "Golfing Umbrella".

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