Your free, funny Sagittarius horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Sagittarius

Sagittarius

Birth date: 22 November - 21 December

The following is your daily Sagittarian funny horoscope, which has been hand carved by the elders and passed down through centuries of parody astrology.

Feel free to go dancing until 3am with various transsexuals at a local notorious disco. Only this way will you be able to say "I've danced till the early morn with some crazy bender lady-boys!".

Screaming loudly only serves to wake the neighbours. They'll only investigate once they're sure you're dead and the murderer has left the crime scene.

Wearing a hat will only bring true happiness.

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