Your free, funny Sagittarius horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Sagittarius

Sagittarius

Birth date: 22 November - 21 December

The following is your daily Sagittarian funny horoscope, which has been hand carved by the elders and passed down through centuries of parody astrology.

Celebrities don't find you attractive because you are pond scum in comparison. Today might see a need for you to call attention to yourself, and we're always happy to recommend faxing semi-nude pictures of yourself to random numbers.

This year may seem to have started as you intended, but what's happened since, eh? Nothing. You haven't done anything. Get out there and get something sorted!

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