Your free, funny Scorpio horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Scorpio

Scorpio

Birth date: 24 October - 21 November

Your funny Scorpio horoscope for today has been checked for all sorts of problems, but we found none. Except that it isn't very funny for some reason. Our engineers are working on it.

Be wary of emails claiming to be from PayPal or eBay - they are almost certainly your "most like a junky" friends trying to get a rise out of you. In fact, they're probably watching you from a webcam placed somewhere around the room you're currently in. We're 99% sure that's where these scam emails come from - people YOU know.

The loony-left is a phrase that you quite like.

Dentist's teeth are not always as great as you'd think. Next time you're in the chair, instead of looking at the ceiling or down the nurses' top, have a good look inside the dentist's mouth. You'll be surprised, shocked and either intimidated or aroused.

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