ScorpioBirth date: 24 October - 21 November
Your funny Scorpio horoscope for today has been checked for all sorts of problems, but we found none. Except that it isn't very funny for some reason. Our engineers are working on it.
If you feel ill a visit to the doctor could be in store. Hair can be red. Hair can be blue. You have some hair. And I have some too. Your aim to drink 10-15 litres of water today may come crashing down on you when you're stuck in traffic later this week.
The future holds great things for you. It's just that whenever you get close, the future snatches them behind its back and shouts "Na-na-na-nana."
More from LaughsendMexico to deport 1000 Guatemalans in the next week in illegal immigrant crackdown YouTube video of German woman avoiding Syrian refugees sparks outrage
Looking for more funny star sign related laughs?
Our most popular funny stories