ScorpioBirth date: 24 October - 21 November
Your funny Scorpio horoscope for today has been checked for all sorts of problems, but we found none. Except that it isn't very funny for some reason. Our engineers are working on it.
There are always good reasons to ask a fellow human to "step outside", and you may be forced to do this over the coming week. This sad horoscope was brought to you in association with usedbandages.co.uk - for all your bloody used bandages.
You will feel an overwhelming desire to kiss everyone in sight today. You must decide how to continue.
"Rankle" is a beautiful word, but may blow your world apart today.
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