Your free, funny Scorpio horoscope for today

Scorpio

Birth date: 24 October - 21 November

Your funny Scorpio horoscope for today has been checked for all sorts of problems, but we found none. Except that it isn't very funny for some reason. Our engineers are working on it.

Try to avoid reading dusty old books that call themselves 'tomes'. Especially if they contain remarkably detailed information about the coming of the anti-christ.

The world moves pretty fast around you and you must learn to slow it down to a reasonable pace. Much of this can be done with a hefty broad-sword.

Laugh and the world laughs at you. Or at least, it'll seem like that this week.

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