Your free, funny Scorpio horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Scorpio

Scorpio

Birth date: 24 October - 21 November

Your funny Scorpio horoscope for today has been checked for all sorts of problems, but we found none. Except that it isn't very funny for some reason. Our engineers are working on it.

Chew the cud with some friends today. Their inane chatter may amuse you. You like to think that you're finally gettings your financial affairs into good order. May the tax be with you.

Terrible envy can be yours all for the price of walking into a very expensive car showroom. Use that negative energy to summon up dark spirits.

Blimey, you ain't harf as wot you used to, ain't it?

Given Time, by Paul London Given Time, by Paul London

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