ScorpioBirth date: 24 October - 21 November
Your funny Scorpio horoscope for today has been checked for all sorts of problems, but we found none. Except that it isn't very funny for some reason. Our engineers are working on it.
Nice and butch is how you like it, but you might want to play it down in certain circumstances.
Just as small peppers are supposed to be the hottest, there may be a small person who's ready to heat up your life. Watch out for the seeds though - they can cause problems.
Post-it note your entire life and you can become some kind of local hero. You're almost certainly to star on the local news.
Exercise may seem like a dirty word, but until you lose some weight fatty, it's the dirtiest word you're going to hear for a long time.
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