Your free, funny Scorpio horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Scorpio

Scorpio

Birth date: 24 October - 21 November

Your funny Scorpio horoscope for today has been checked for all sorts of problems, but we found none. Except that it isn't very funny for some reason. Our engineers are working on it.

Starving yourself does not help you lose weight. In fact, it can be very detrimental to your health. You ask any dead person and they'll say: "Yep, that's right, I'm very thin!"

Show a loved one you care.

Today might surprise you by quickly changing the colour of the clouds perhaps for up to 10 seconds.

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