Your free, funny Scorpio horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Scorpio

Scorpio

Birth date: 24 October - 21 November

Your funny Scorpio horoscope for today has been checked for all sorts of problems, but we found none. Except that it isn't very funny for some reason. Our engineers are working on it.

There is no word "ecseterar". And it's *definitely* not abbreviated as ect. Up to your neck in debt? Today might be the day you strike it lucky and catch the television advert that claims they can help you. They really want to help too, they love you. It doesn't matter whether you have a criminal record of CCJs, or whatever. Heck, if they could, they'd have your babies. Seriously. There's a lot of love between you and that random debt-help company.

Try not to get the wrong end of the stick today, especially the pointy end.

When asked if you're OK today, you may feel tempted to respond with physical violence.

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