Scorpio
Birth date: 24 October - 21 NovemberYour funny Scorpio horoscope for today has been checked for all sorts of problems, but we found none. Except that it isn't very funny for some reason. Our engineers are working on it.
The only conspiracy theory you need to worry about is the one that involves you. You knew about that conspiracy, right? Oh....dear...God. Your words are, to some, like finger-nails scratching a black-board.
Sing a song inside and to hell with the dark clouds that await you.
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