Spam email sets fire to living room rug

A spam email today jumped across the technological barrier, by setting fire to a recipient's rug, and almost terrifying some nearby shrews.

The email, purportedly related to some new and exciting opportunities in the world of adult marital aids, was said to be so inflaming that it "pinged" out of the computer and onto the floor beside it. The computer's owner, and receiver of such email, Margaret Atlink, told us what happened:

"Well, it's all such a blur. I got the email, and I was surprised because I have twelve anti-virus programs on my PC, and fourteen ad blockers, so I opened it up and there was an adult picture on the email which I didn't at all like the look of. Before I knew it, the rug had spontaneously set on fire - and I knew there could only be one culprit: the email."

So, has Skynet really become sentient, and setting fire to the living room furniture of old ladies? Art Garfunkel, head of science at website TechArsenal, told us:

"It's entirely possible, but seriously unlikely. I mean, what, are we to believe that spam emails can now cause acts of God? Because if so, that's going to have a serious repercussion on my insurance costs."

The shrews, family pets who were caged during the incident, were unavailable for comment.