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Banks to cancel all student loan debt in 2014

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Banks are set to cancel all existing and outstanding student loans later this year, in a move that analysts have called "stupendously mad". Both UK and US banks have so far confirmed they are ready to sign an agreement, with France and Germany to follow in 2015.

"This is an incredibly important decision the banks have made," claimed an industry insider. "The cancellation of this debt is a gesture that perhaps only students who have already suffered life-breaking tuition debts will truly grasp. I wonder, actually, if the banks themselves have really thought this one through. It's going to be more expensive than cancelling government debts. I dunno, it all sounds like a satirical story you'd read on some grubby website to me."

Students who have recently paid their debts will also receive a full reimbursement of their payments, with suggestions that the banks may go as far back as 15 years.

"This is great," said one ex-student who's still half way through paying off a $30,000 debt accrued while studing at Brown University. "I have a lot of tattoos I want removing surgically, so it'll help pay for those. Seriously - the stuff you get up to as a student. I have a picture of Bender, from Futurama, on my ass. That's the one I'm keeping."

For more information, drop into your local bank branch, or call them 24/7 at their usual numbers (calling costs may apply; always read the terms and conditions).

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Comments

#1 @ 5 years ago
by edge_turn111 - Quiet veteran

Edited: sorry, wrong post! Silly. ;)

19 comments, registered 6 years ago
#2 @ 5 years ago
by amelie - Quiet veteran

edge_turn111 wrote

Edited: sorry, wrong post! Silly. ;)

funny. nice work, funny type peson.

19 comments, registered 5 years ago
#3 @ 5 years ago
by Roald Dahl7 - Ghost

amelie wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

Edited: sorry, wrong post! Silly. ;)

funny. nice work, funny type peson.

I don't know. Snore. :)

10 comments, registered 5 years ago
#4 @ 5 years ago
by great escape13 - Ghost

amelie wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

Edited: sorry, wrong post! Silly. ;)

funny. nice work, funny type peson.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

6 comments, registered 5 years ago
#5 @ 5 years ago
by Beaver-Soap - Quiet veteran

great escape13 wrote

amelie wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

Edited: sorry, wrong post! Silly. ;)

funny. nice work, funny type peson.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

i didn't read this because it neither irritated nor pleased me. i also make obvious comments in real life. i don't really understand... and yet i do understand.

13 comments, registered 5 years ago
#6 @ 5 years ago
by ABARAJAS7 - Ghost

Beaver-Soap wrote

great escape13 wrote

amelie wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

Edited: sorry, wrong post! Silly. ;)

funny. nice work, funny type peson.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

i didn't read this because it neither irritated nor pleased me. i also make obvious comments in real life. i don't really understand... and yet i do understand.

If I fall asleep at any time, you'll have to... * shrugs *.

9 comments, registered 5 years ago
#7 @ 5 years ago
by lorettalutz777 - Ghost

ABARAJAS7 wrote

Beaver-Soap wrote

great escape13 wrote

amelie wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

Edited: sorry, wrong post! Silly. ;)

funny. nice work, funny type peson.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

i didn't read this because it neither irritated nor pleased me. i also make obvious comments in real life. i don't really understand... and yet i do understand.

If I fall asleep at any time, you'll have to... * shrugs *.

Come on, this is poop. Don't fall for it; stop feeding the troll. I'm surprised more hasnt been made of how terrible this is.

6 comments, registered 5 years ago
#8 @ 5 years ago
by cake-flag7 - Ghost

ABARAJAS7 wrote

Beaver-Soap wrote

great escape13 wrote

amelie wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

Edited: sorry, wrong post! Silly. ;)

funny. nice work, funny type peson.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

i didn't read this because it neither irritated nor pleased me. i also make obvious comments in real life. i don't really understand... and yet i do understand.

If I fall asleep at any time, you'll have to... * shrugs *.

I'VE SERIOUSLY LIKED THE MATERIAL ON THIS WEBSITE, BUT IT'S ALL STARTING TO GET THE SAME NOW. I JUST DON'T GET IT.

X)

2 comments, registered 5 years ago
#9 @ 5 years ago
by Beaver-Soap - Quiet veteran

ABARAJAS7 wrote

Beaver-Soap wrote

great escape13 wrote

amelie wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

Edited: sorry, wrong post! Silly. ;)

funny. nice work, funny type peson.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

i didn't read this because it neither irritated nor pleased me. i also make obvious comments in real life. i don't really understand... and yet i do understand.

If I fall asleep at any time, you'll have to... * shrugs *.

i thought it was hilarious. :)

13 comments, registered 5 years ago
#10 @ 5 years ago
by Richard Adams - Quiet veteran

Beaver-Soap wrote

ABARAJAS7 wrote

Beaver-Soap wrote

great escape13 wrote

amelie wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

Edited: sorry, wrong post! Silly. ;)

funny. nice work, funny type peson.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

i didn't read this because it neither irritated nor pleased me. i also make obvious comments in real life. i don't really understand... and yet i do understand.

If I fall asleep at any time, you'll have to... * shrugs *.

i thought it was hilarious. :)

I AM ABOUT AS HAPPY AS I CAN BE MADE.

27 comments, registered 5 years ago
#11 @ 5 years ago
by ball_hole1967 - Ghost

Beaver-Soap wrote

ABARAJAS7 wrote

Beaver-Soap wrote

great escape13 wrote

amelie wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

Edited: sorry, wrong post! Silly. ;)

funny. nice work, funny type peson.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

i didn't read this because it neither irritated nor pleased me. i also make obvious comments in real life. i don't really understand... and yet i do understand.

If I fall asleep at any time, you'll have to... * shrugs *.

i thought it was hilarious. :)

Stop feeding the troll.

3 comments, registered 6 years ago
#12 @ 5 years ago
by meal_drum - Ghost

Beaver-Soap wrote

ABARAJAS7 wrote

Beaver-Soap wrote

great escape13 wrote

amelie wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

Edited: sorry, wrong post! Silly. ;)

funny. nice work, funny type peson.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

i didn't read this because it neither irritated nor pleased me. i also make obvious comments in real life. i don't really understand... and yet i do understand.

If I fall asleep at any time, you'll have to... * shrugs *.

i thought it was hilarious. :)

You're one of those people who has to think of the contrarian argument every time. It's not "playing devil's advocate" - it's called being a garbage. I can't decide whether I should find out when you're next on holiday, take the week off, find out where you live, and spend a full seven days eating badly, and then shitting on everything you own.

4 comments, registered 5 years ago
#13 @ 5 years ago
by Richard Adams - Quiet veteran

Beaver-Soap wrote

ABARAJAS7 wrote

Beaver-Soap wrote

great escape13 wrote

amelie wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

Edited: sorry, wrong post! Silly. ;)

funny. nice work, funny type peson.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

i didn't read this because it neither irritated nor pleased me. i also make obvious comments in real life. i don't really understand... and yet i do understand.

If I fall asleep at any time, you'll have to... * shrugs *.

i thought it was hilarious. :)

NOW LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE IDIOTS... HEH-HEH.

27 comments, registered 5 years ago
#14 @ 5 years ago
by ABARAJAS7 - Ghost

Beaver-Soap wrote

ABARAJAS7 wrote

Beaver-Soap wrote

great escape13 wrote

amelie wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

Edited: sorry, wrong post! Silly. ;)

funny. nice work, funny type peson.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

i didn't read this because it neither irritated nor pleased me. i also make obvious comments in real life. i don't really understand... and yet i do understand.

If I fall asleep at any time, you'll have to... * shrugs *.

i thought it was hilarious. :)

Solid. Oh get bent.

9 comments, registered 5 years ago

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