US News Entertainment

Ahoy-hoy to replace all greetings

story image about independence and scotland Double Ahoy
2 comment(s)
Report story

Alexander Graham Bell's dying wish is going to come true for his native Scotland, if Scottish independence comes to fruition. Later this year Scots will decide whether to cecede from the United Kingdom, to become independent from the 'motherland' and the Queen of England. One way chosen to celebrate this future is to make all Scots use the term "Ahoy-hoy" to replace all other forms of greeting.

Scottish members of parliament have been debating the pros and cons of independence for the greater part of 500 years, but only in the last few decades has the promise of independence shown itself to be truly possible. If the law is passed, some MPs have wanted to do something extraordinary in order to separate the Scots and their southern neighbours.

"We posted a poll online to see what the best options were. Suggestions ranged from demanding a dram of whisky be drunk at least once a day, a sort of old-fashioned tribute to old Scottish gods. Another was that everyone should be forced to wear a kilt for the full year."

Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the emtelephonic discombobulator, or 'telephone' as we now call it, once had a vision of greeting callers with the phrase "Ahoy-hoy!". On his death bed, Bell declared that it was his dream that everyone in the world would use his greeting in everyday scenarios. It was this dream that Scottish voters decided would be enacted, should the special event turn out in Scot's favour.





The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

Headlines like this

thumbnail for item Lottery winnings cash

Lottery winner gives full winnings to charity; immediately regrets decision

US News Entertainment 12

Recent lottery, or Lottomax, winner Sylvia Horsestring has begun legal proceedings to reclaim the winnings that she gifted to a charity....

read more
10 years ago
thumbnail for item This is not Delia Smith

Delia cooks children

US News Entertainment 0

Model chef, model, chef, and otherwise wonderful person Delia Smith, has today come under fire for apparently promoting the cannibalism of children....

read more
10 years ago

Comments

#1 @ 10 years ago
by rubio7 - Quiet veteran

I cn't explain how I'm feelin... super meh.

13 comments, registered 10 years ago
#2 @ 10 years ago
by Paul Laughsend - Chief

I've got that song stuck in my head now. Thanks for that.

1 comment, registered 13 years ago

To add a comment you must first sign up and login.


Taurus horoscope

Tomorrow will bring fresh excitement and vigour to your otherwise dull self. Live like you would like and you will......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

thumbnail for Celine Dion news story Titanic Wreck Scanned, Celine Dion Weeps With Envy thumbnail for Bush news story George W Bush to Take Over as the New Host of The Price is Right and Finally Find the Weapons of Mass Destruction
Funny RSS feed