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Japanese start-up to sell used female gym bike seats
Japanese start-up company Tentacle-Insertion-Company (TIC) has issued a press release today hailing their latest product: the...
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From Japanese start-up to sell used female gym bike seats
"I'm buying one as we speak, said Massimo Erk, who we found at the skateboard park...." - see story
University poll concludes that toothpaste is racist
US News Politics 8A recent poll done at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey has concluded that toothpaste is racist. The survey sampled a total of 100 people and came up with these conclusions:...
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Apocalypse strikes world; everyone dead
World 0In a rather unnerving moment for optimists everywhere, the world spectacularly ended overnight, with everyone assumed dead. The incident, described by multi-governmental officials as 'disturbing', occurred during the early hours, obliterating man, woman and otherwise kind in...
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Tears of a clown found to have healing properties
US News 5In science and health news today, special reports come through from our Russian colleagues at Laughingstok University, who have completed their studies into the various healing powers of tears. Motivated by the legendary story that Phoenix tears, made famous by Fawkes, the fiery...
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Nocheerios breakfast cereal, made purposefully with no added sugar, bankrupts manufacturer
World 2Nestle's new sugar free breakfast cereal, Nocheerios, has been taken off the shelves today as business executives went cap in hand to shareholders following results that show the fast-breaking foodstuff almost destroyed the company....
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Someone whose name might be Steven Avery arrested for public pigeon fancying
US News 1A Wisconsin man has been arrested today on charges of public indecency with regards to "pigeon fancying". The accused, whose name has not been Avery disclosed to the media, is already serving a prison sentence, but this has not prevented local law enforcement from charging him...
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Heck Yeah, America: Immortality Achievement Unlocked
US News 0An earth-shattering breakthrough in the scientific community is changing the way Americans live. CapitalismTech, the California-based global leader of healthcare technology, discovered the medical key to immortality early last week. Chief of Development and Technology Cronk Trun...
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Study: Elderly Toxic to Society
US News 0The officials at the World Health Organization have confirmed their suspicion that elderly people are simply not healthy for the rest of...
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Kissing top cause of UK school nits outbreaks claim boffins
UK News 4Boffins at Laughingstate University yesterday released a report DAMNING UK schools for allowing pupils to share bodily fluids. The act, described by scientists as KISSING, was alleged to have been allowed in up to 97% of schools, and in those schools a WHOPPING 7% of children...
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