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Kissing top cause of UK school nits outbreaks claim boffins
Boffins at Laughingstate University yesterday released a report DAMNING UK schools for allowing pupils to share bodily fluids.
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"My kids came home covered in the bugs, hair hopping around like a bad toupee...." - see story
Study: Elderly Toxic to Society
US News 0The officials at the World Health Organization have confirmed their suspicion that elderly people are simply not healthy for the rest of...
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Heck Yeah, America: Immortality Achievement Unlocked
US News 0An earth-shattering breakthrough in the scientific community is changing the way Americans live. CapitalismTech, the California-based global leader of healthcare technology, discovered the medical key to immortality early last week. Chief of Development and Technology Cronk Trun...
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You only live three times, says renowned James Bond enemy
World 0In the world of spies and spy related shenanigans, there is no better known arch-enemy than Rnst Blomee. For decades, British spy James Bond, also known as 007, has been at loggerheads with Blomee, and today Mr Bond's large, balding uber-opponent has released a statement contradicting the spy's claim that spies only live twice....
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Camels to be recalled after one bites off man's head.
World 15A camel has reportedly chewed off a man’s head after he left the animal tied up in the scorching...
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University poll concludes that toothpaste is racist
US News Politics 8A recent poll done at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey has concluded that toothpaste is racist. The survey sampled a total of 100 people and came up with these conclusions:...
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Apocalypse strikes world; everyone dead
World 0In a rather unnerving moment for optimists everywhere, the world spectacularly ended overnight, with everyone assumed dead. The incident, described by multi-governmental officials as 'disturbing', occurred during the early hours, obliterating man, woman and otherwise kind in...
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Experts Swipe at Smart-phones
World 2An international team of experts now warns that excessive use of Smart-phones are forever changing our physiology. There’s nothing new in this though. It is a well-established fact that cultural advancements and trends, if significant enough, can force the human body into a sp...
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C-list celebs move up to B-list as all good celebrities keep dying
World 6C-list celebrities have received a boost this month as the great and good of the entertainment world continue to drop like flies. Following the death of Prince, various members of the Kardashian family have received their letters this morning advising them of a boost in rankings.
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