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You only live three times, says renowned James Bond enemy

Read story You only live three times, says renowned James Bond enemy

In the world of spies and spy related shenanigans, there is no better known arch-enemy than Rnst Blomee. For decades, British...

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"I mean, the man must be 97 years old by now...." - see story

Nurses revolt on #International #Nurses #Day

World 0

The world is in crisis today as all nurses have revolted, making this the worst #InternationalNursesDay ever. Male and female, young and old, have selected this as the perfect day to universally strike, demanding better pay and better recognition by their employers, doctors, and even patients....

Tears of a clown found to have healing properties

US News 5

In science and health news today, special reports come through from our Russian colleagues at Laughingstok University, who have completed their studies into the various healing powers of tears. Motivated by the legendary story that Phoenix tears, made famous by Fawkes, the fiery...

C-list celebs move up to B-list as all good celebrities keep dying

World 6

C-list celebrities have received a boost this month as the great and good of the entertainment world continue to drop like flies. Following the death of Prince, various members of the Kardashian family have received their letters this morning advising them of a boost in rankings.

Apocalypse strikes world; everyone dead

World 0

In a rather unnerving moment for optimists everywhere, the world spectacularly ended overnight, with everyone assumed dead. The incident, described by multi-governmental officials as 'disturbing', occurred during the early hours, obliterating man, woman and otherwise kind in...

Japanese start-up to sell used female gym bike seats

UK News 7

Japanese start-up company Tentacle-Insertion-Company (TIC) has issued a press release today hailing their latest product: the used gym bicycle seat. Lucky members of a kickstarter project launched in early April are set to receive a guaranteed padded gym seat, sat and sweated on by the unmentionable female anatomy....

Heck Yeah, America: Immortality Achievement Unlocked

US News 0

An earth-shattering breakthrough in the scientific community is changing the way Americans live. CapitalismTech, the California-based global leader of healthcare technology, discovered the medical key to immortality early last week. Chief of Development and Technology Cronk Trun...

Kissing top cause of UK school nits outbreaks claim boffins

UK News 4

Boffins at Laughingstate University yesterday released a report DAMNING UK schools for allowing pupils to share bodily fluids. The act, described by scientists as KISSING, was alleged to have been allowed in up to 97% of schools, and in those schools a WHOPPING 7% of children...