Health
"Triple-DNA" Baby Born in UK, Causing Confusion Amongst Geneticists and Aliens Everywhere
UK News Politics 0LONDON - In a landmark scientific breakthrough, a baby has been born that has genetic material from three different people. This has sent the world of science into chaos, with experts scrambling to figure out what to call this tripartite creation. "We're thinking about 'threeploid'...
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Local woman finally achieves joy by consuming an entire pizza pie daily
US News 0In a groundbreaking discovery, a recent study has found that the key to eternal happiness lies in one simple food: pizza. After months of observation and analysis, scientists have declared that consuming at least one full pizza every day has been proven to make individuals significantly happier than those who do not indulge....
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Disappointed Fans Realise They'll Never Hear Carpool Karaoke Again as Adele and James Corden Reach Peak Performance
UK News 0Yesterday, reports emerged that Adele and James Corden had been reunited for one last Carpool Karaoke performance. Fans were delighted at the news, but soon realised the implications of this last hurrah. One fan lamented, "I can't believe we'll never hear James fumbling over the words to 'Hello' again. It's the end of an era!
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Experts Swipe at Smart-phones
World 2An international team of experts now warns that excessive use of Smart-phones are forever changing our physiology. There’s nothing new in this though. It is a well-established fact that cultural advancements and trends, if significant enough, can force the human body into a sp...
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Adidas announced Kanye collab to clean up UK beaches
UK News 0LONDON - Awash with a patriotic spirit to protect the nation's coastlines, global sportswear brand Adidas have announced they will donate ten per cent of all sales of their fashion-shoe collab with rapper Kanye West to efforts to clean up UK beaches....
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They're Not as Monstrous as We Thought!
World 0In a shocking discovery, scientists have found that monsters are not actually the terrifying creatures we thought they were. After years of being depicted as bloodthirsty, flesh-eating beasts, the truth has finally come...
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Clown tears cure bad breath; Smokey Robinson calls revelation "mint"
UK News 0In a stunning new breakthrough, scientists have discovered that clown tears actually contain the magical properties needed to cure bad breath. After years of research and experimentation, the team found that a single drop of clown tears on the tongue can banish bad breath for up to 24 hours....
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Brexit Supply Chain Issues Bring Joy to School Children: No More Vegetables Means More Pizza and Sweeties!
UK News Politics 0LONDON, UK - In the wake of Brexit, the UK is facing an ongoing shortage of fresh fruit and vegetables. While this has been a cause for concern for many, there is one group that is overjoyed by the news: school children....
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