Health

In a rather unnerving moment for optimists everywhere, the world spectacularly ended overnight, with everyone assumed dead. The...
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From Apocalypse strikes world; everyone dead
"It was a real shock for everyone...." - see story

Tears of a clown found to have healing properties
US News 5In science and health news today, special reports come through from our Russian colleagues at Laughingstok University, who have completed their studies into the various healing powers of tears. Motivated by the legendary story that Phoenix tears, made famous by Fawkes, the fiery...
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Experts Swipe at Smart-phones
World 2An international team of experts now warns that excessive use of Smart-phones are forever changing our physiology. There’s nothing new in this though. It is a well-established fact that cultural advancements and trends, if significant enough, can force the human body into a sp...
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Camels to be recalled after one bites off man's head.
World 15A camel has reportedly chewed off a man’s head after he left the animal tied up in the scorching...
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Study: Elderly Toxic to Society
US News 0The officials at the World Health Organization have confirmed their suspicion that elderly people are simply not healthy for the rest of...
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Heck Yeah, America: Immortality Achievement Unlocked
US News 0An earth-shattering breakthrough in the scientific community is changing the way Americans live. CapitalismTech, the California-based global leader of healthcare technology, discovered the medical key to immortality early last week. Chief of Development and Technology Cronk Trun...
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Kissing top cause of UK school nits outbreaks claim boffins
UK News 4Boffins at Laughingstate University yesterday released a report DAMNING UK schools for allowing pupils to share bodily fluids. The act, described by scientists as KISSING, was alleged to have been allowed in up to 97% of schools, and in those schools a WHOPPING 7% of children...
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C-list celebs move up to B-list as all good celebrities keep dying
World 6C-list celebrities have received a boost this month as the great and good of the entertainment world continue to drop like flies. Following the death of Prince, various members of the Kardashian family have received their letters this morning advising them of a boost in rankings.
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Photographer accidentally takes candid shot of Emilia Clarke and Emma Watson kissing, in no way whatsoever
World 0A photographer has today become the latest Cause Célèbre, after finding that he accidentally took a snap of celebrity couple Emilia Clarke and Emma Watson during a steamy "snog" session with his girlfriend. The photographer, Jake Macfarlane, discovered his lucky snap when he w...
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