Health
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Experts Swipe at Smart-phones
An international team of experts now warns that excessive use of Smart-phones are forever changing our physiology. There’s noth...
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From 86% of #monday #motivation tweets cause Twitter users to feel bad about themselves
"When you read how Einstein got up every morning and put his shoes on the right feet, because he labelled them L and R - that's really motivating...." - see story
Nocheerios breakfast cereal, made purposefully with no added sugar, bankrupts manufacturer
World 2Nestle's new sugar free breakfast cereal, Nocheerios, has been taken off the shelves today as business executives went cap in hand to shareholders following results that show the fast-breaking foodstuff almost destroyed the company....
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Apocalypse strikes world; everyone dead
World 0In a rather unnerving moment for optimists everywhere, the world spectacularly ended overnight, with everyone assumed dead. The incident, described by multi-governmental officials as 'disturbing', occurred during the early hours, obliterating man, woman and otherwise kind in...
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Someone whose name might be Steven Avery arrested for public pigeon fancying
US News 1A Wisconsin man has been arrested today on charges of public indecency with regards to "pigeon fancying". The accused, whose name has not been Avery disclosed to the media, is already serving a prison sentence, but this has not prevented local law enforcement from charging him...
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Tears of a clown found to have healing properties
US News 5In science and health news today, special reports come through from our Russian colleagues at Laughingstok University, who have completed their studies into the various healing powers of tears. Motivated by the legendary story that Phoenix tears, made famous by Fawkes, the fiery...
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Heck Yeah, America: Immortality Achievement Unlocked
US News 0An earth-shattering breakthrough in the scientific community is changing the way Americans live. CapitalismTech, the California-based global leader of healthcare technology, discovered the medical key to immortality early last week. Chief of Development and Technology Cronk Trun...
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86% of #monday #motivation tweets cause Twitter users to feel bad about themselves
World 5Scientists and statisticians at Laughingstate University, Colorado, have today revealed findings of a three month study concerning the trending topic of #mondaymotivation stories appearing on Twitter. The 140 character long missives usually contain material promoting the user's...
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C-list celebs move up to B-list as all good celebrities keep dying
World 6C-list celebrities have received a boost this month as the great and good of the entertainment world continue to drop like flies. Following the death of Prince, various members of the Kardashian family have received their letters this morning advising them of a boost in rankings.
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University poll concludes that toothpaste is racist
US News Politics 8A recent poll done at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey has concluded that toothpaste is racist. The survey sampled a total of 100 people and came up with these conclusions:...
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