Health

University poll concludes that toothpaste is racist

Read story University poll concludes that toothpaste is racist

A recent poll done at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey has concluded that toothpaste is racist. The survey...

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From Pharma company to start selling anti-viagra as answer to date-rape drugs
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Photographer accidentally takes candid shot of Emilia Clarke and Emma Watson kissing, in no way whatsoever

World 0

A photographer has today become the latest Cause Célèbre, after finding that he accidentally took a snap of celebrity couple Emilia Clarke and Emma Watson during a steamy "snog" session with his girlfriend. The photographer, Jake Macfarlane, discovered his lucky snap when he w...

Apocalypse strikes world; everyone dead

World 0

In a rather unnerving moment for optimists everywhere, the world spectacularly ended overnight, with everyone assumed dead. The incident, described by multi-governmental officials as 'disturbing', occurred during the early hours, obliterating man, woman and otherwise kind in...

C-list celebs move up to B-list as all good celebrities keep dying

World 6

C-list celebrities have received a boost this month as the great and good of the entertainment world continue to drop like flies. Following the death of Prince, various members of the Kardashian family have received their letters this morning advising them of a boost in rankings.

Tears of a clown found to have healing properties

US News 5

In science and health news today, special reports come through from our Russian colleagues at Laughingstok University, who have completed their studies into the various healing powers of tears. Motivated by the legendary story that Phoenix tears, made famous by Fawkes, the fiery...

Japanese start-up to sell used female gym bike seats

UK News 7

Japanese start-up company Tentacle-Insertion-Company (TIC) has issued a press release today hailing their latest product: the used gym bicycle seat. Lucky members of a kickstarter project launched in early April are set to receive a guaranteed padded gym seat, sat and sweated on by the unmentionable female anatomy....

Kissing top cause of UK school nits outbreaks claim boffins

UK News 4

Boffins at Laughingstate University yesterday released a report DAMNING UK schools for allowing pupils to share bodily fluids. The act, described by scientists as KISSING, was alleged to have been allowed in up to 97% of schools, and in those schools a WHOPPING 7% of children...

Pharma company to start selling anti-viagra as answer to date-rape drugs

World 2

A pharmaceutical company based in England is set to start selling what has been dubbed as "anti-viagra", in some quarters, due to its ability to render a penis flaccid and unusable for up to 48 hours. The drug, whose chemical name is Lifeanedlis (which is Sildenafil in reverse),...