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Study: Elderly Toxic to Society
The officials at the World Health Organization have confirmed their suspicion that elderly people are simply not healthy for the rest of...
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From Study: Elderly Toxic to Society
"Typically when something is toxic to society, we take care of that problem...." - see story
Kissing top cause of UK school nits outbreaks claim boffins
UK News 4Boffins at Laughingstate University yesterday released a report DAMNING UK schools for allowing pupils to share bodily fluids. The act, described by scientists as KISSING, was alleged to have been allowed in up to 97% of schools, and in those schools a WHOPPING 7% of children...
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Camels to be recalled after one bites off man's head.
World 15A camel has reportedly chewed off a man’s head after he left the animal tied up in the scorching...
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Nurses revolt on #International #Nurses #Day
World 0The world is in crisis today as all nurses have revolted, making this the worst #InternationalNursesDay ever. Male and female, young and old, have selected this as the perfect day to universally strike, demanding better pay and better recognition by their employers, doctors, and even patients....
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Nocheerios breakfast cereal, made purposefully with no added sugar, bankrupts manufacturer
World 2Nestle's new sugar free breakfast cereal, Nocheerios, has been taken off the shelves today as business executives went cap in hand to shareholders following results that show the fast-breaking foodstuff almost destroyed the company....
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Japanese start-up to sell used female gym bike seats
UK News 7Japanese start-up company Tentacle-Insertion-Company (TIC) has issued a press release today hailing their latest product: the used gym bicycle seat. Lucky members of a kickstarter project launched in early April are set to receive a guaranteed padded gym seat, sat and sweated on by the unmentionable female anatomy....
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86% of #monday #motivation tweets cause Twitter users to feel bad about themselves
World 5Scientists and statisticians at Laughingstate University, Colorado, have today revealed findings of a three month study concerning the trending topic of #mondaymotivation stories appearing on Twitter. The 140 character long missives usually contain material promoting the user's...
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Photographer accidentally takes candid shot of Emilia Clarke and Emma Watson kissing, in no way whatsoever
World 0A photographer has today become the latest Cause Célèbre, after finding that he accidentally took a snap of celebrity couple Emilia Clarke and Emma Watson during a steamy "snog" session with his girlfriend. The photographer, Jake Macfarlane, discovered his lucky snap when he w...
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EU demands Brit condoms 10% thicker to ensure less pleasure and fewer accidental children
UK News 5The EU, or European Union if we absolutely must use its full title, has today declared that Britain must ensure that its condoms are ten percent thicker than those sold elsewhere on the continent. Conspiracy theorists, and politicians running for various appointed positions,...
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