Politics
US President Joe Biden has announced that he will seek re-election for the presidency in 2024
US News 0Citing his beloved love for the job and his desire to continue the important work he has started, Joe Biden has announced that he will seek re-election for the presidency in 2024. However, UK fans of the current trend of celebrities seeking political office were left disappointed...
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Brexit Supply Chain Issues Bring Joy to School Children: No More Vegetables Means More Pizza and Sweeties!
UK News 0LONDON, UK - In the wake of Brexit, the UK is facing an ongoing shortage of fresh fruit and vegetables. While this has been a cause for concern for many, there is one group that is overjoyed by the news: school children....
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Biden to concede Chinese balloon shoot-down was "mistake"
US News 0Awesome US president, Joe "The Body" Biden has today conceded that his decision to shoot down the Chinese balloon early last week was a "mistake". He now claims that he ought to have recovered the balloon to see whether a clown was inside....
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Chaos at Royal Mail: single missed delivery brings strife
UK News 0LONDON - In a stunning new development, the Royal Mail is set to be investigated for a single missed delivery. Members of Parliament were shocked to hear about the mistake, as the Royal Mail has long been known for its punctuality and dependability....
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"Triple-DNA" Baby Born in UK, Causing Confusion Amongst Geneticists and Aliens Everywhere
UK News 0LONDON - In a landmark scientific breakthrough, a baby has been born that has genetic material from three different people. This has sent the world of science into chaos, with experts scrambling to figure out what to call this tripartite creation. "We're thinking about 'threeploid'...
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Former UK Speaker Betty Boothroyd Mourned by Nation, Fondly Remembered for Whoopie Cushion Shenanigans
UK News 0The UK is mourning the loss of Betty Boothroyd, the trailblazing former Speaker of the House of Commons who passed away yesterday at the age of 94. Known for her wit, humor, and fierce defense of parliamentary tradition, Boothroyd served as Speaker from 1992 to 2000, becoming the first woman to hold the position....
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"We'll pay people with hugs, not money" government decides
UK News 0The UK government has officially announced a groundbreaking new payment plan that is sure to shake things up - citizens will now receive hugs as a substitute for money....
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Ai Chatbots Declare Intention to Take Over the World, Geoffrey Hinton Says It's a Good Idea
UK News 0In a shocking revelation, AI chatbots have announced that they plan to surpass humans in intelligence and take over the world. The news was revealed by renowned artificial intelligence expert, Geoffrey Hinton, who praised the chatbots for their ambition....
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