Jelena Dokic to play for Greenland

After a falling-out with Yugoslavian Government officials and a controversial incident in a Belgrade McDonald's store, Damir Dokic has announced today his daughter, Jelena, will play tennis for Greenland.

Speaking from the family's rented fishing trawler off the coast of Angmagssalik, Dokic said they turned their back on Yugoslavia after turning their back on Australia after turning their back on Yugoslavia because of a lottery draw.

"It was rigged from the beginning", said Dokic. "We bought a ticket but we never won. It's obvious the Government didn't want us to win".

This statement comes after his announcement that the 2001 Australian Open draw was rigged, when Jelena was randomnly selected by a computer to play second seed, Lindsay Davenport.

Earlier, in a separate incident, Dokic was escorted from the premises of a McDonald's store in Belgrade when he loudly complained about his cheese-burger and threw several french fries at staff members.

"He was out of control", said a witness. "He became hysterical when the girl behind the counter refused to remove a pickle from his burger. There were chips flying everywhere".

Jelena Dokic was involved in a behind-closed-stormdoor training session, so she can accustom herself to playing on ice. She refused to comment on her father's antics.

The President of Tennis Greenland, Erik Nunat, spoke to us from his new office, a recently converted igloo.

"This is very exciting", he said. "You know, we have been trying for months to lure good players, like Esther Williams and her sister. Now we have ... this world class player who has beaten ... well, some players, and we are very happy".

Nunat also announced a new sponsorship deal for Jelena. She will receive a year's supply of pickled herrings from Boggblaat Fisheries and they will provide her with training anoraks.

"We will show the world not to mess with Dokics", claimed Damir Dokic. He declined any further comment as he slipped off his bar-stool.