World

Read story Why Europe needs migrants
Politics 4

1). Europeans are dying out and are not making enough children to replace the current populations....

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From US women's Under-20 football team coach following group stage World Cup elimination: America's days of domination are over
"We always make it to at least the quarterfinals which, prior to today was our worst showing in this competition...." - see story

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Russian Coach: We are not afraid of Spain or Portugal

Sport 9

Russian Coach Cherchesov Stanislav is optimistic about his team's chances of progressing from the round of sixteen at this year's World Cup after his charges became the first team to qualify for the second round following its convincing 3-1 win over Egypt which effectively eliminated...

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Netherlands Under-17 Coach following Euro win: There is still hope for Dutch Football

Sport 4

The Coach of the victorious Netherlands Under-17 National Football team which won the Euro tournament today following a penalty shootout victory over Italy in the final is expressing optimism over the future of Dutch football. The Netherlands, a very proud footballing nation...

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Marine Le Pen warns compatriots ahead of Bastille Day celebrations and the World Cup final; criticizes racial makeup of French National Football team

Politics 1

On one of the biggest weekends in France this year, the leader of the Far Right National Rally, Marine Le Pen is warning citizens to be wary and stay indoors in order to stay safe because terrorists may use the occasion to carry on attacks on innocent citizens in public places....

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Nicco Montano promises to knock out Valentina Shevchenko at UFC 228

Sport 7

UFC Women's Flyweight Champion Nicco Montano is making what many experts believe to be an audacious prediction in her first title defense against number one challenger Valentina Shevchenko at UFC 228 on Saturday night - that she will knock out the Kyrgyzstan fighter....

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US women's Under-20 football team coach following group stage World Cup elimination: America's days of domination are over

Sport 4

The disappointed coach of the US women's Under-20 football team was as frank as can be following her team's group stage elimination at the World Cup currently taking place in France as she said emphatically at a post-match press conference:...

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Dafne Schippers to drop the 100M entirely to focus only on the 200M

Sport 10

Dafne Schippers is to drop the 100M entirely from her programme and focus exclusively on the 200M. The two-time reigning World Champion made the announcement in an interview today after yet another disappointing finish in the 100M this season where she ended up in fifth place...

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Disgusted patrons walk out of circus following racist clown joke

Politics 5

Disgusted patrons at the Suarez Bros. Circus which is currently on the Trinidad leg of its world tour, were left furious and some even walked out of the performance and demanded their money back when one of the clowns did a practical joke which they deemed racist. During the...

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2018 World Cup Summary

Politics 5

The host Russia proved that low rankings don't mean anything at World Cups when coming up against big name teams and that in penalty shootouts anything is possible....

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The funniest news from around the world: lampooning heads of state, silly things that happen globally, and generally just trying to out-satire mother nature (which isn't always easy by the way!) We put in approximately 14,000 man-monkey-hybrid hours into the writing of every world news headline just to make sure it's as funny as can be. Well, we don't actually do that, but you wouldn't be surprised, would you? Maybe. Sorry. I'm on work experience here and I don't really know whether this is the right thing to be writing. In the meantime, enjoy your news satire website, people!

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