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Read story Kayla Harrison to make professional MMA debut this summer
Sport 4

Two-time Olympic Champion in Women’s Judo Kayla Harrison is set to make her professional MMA debut this summer against a yet...

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Notable quotable from this story

From Kayla Harrison to make professional MMA debut this summer
"Hopefully I’ll continue to be a just as successful in the Octagon as I was on the Olympic mat...." - see story

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Offensive cartoon posted by Australian women's cricketer on Facebook page sparks outrage from members of New Zealand team

Sport 4

An offensive cartoon posted by Australian women's cricket all-rounder Ellyse Perry on her Facebook page has triggered outrage from members of the New Zealand women's team. The cartoon which depicts a kangaroo draped in the Australian national flag stomping on a bird which appears...

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Chancellor Merkel: All native Germans must learn to speak Arabic

Politics 9

German Chancellor Angela Merkel has said in an interview with Bayerischer Rundfunk that native Germans must learn to speak Arabic. Mrs. Merkel was adamant that with Germany's changing demographics it is imperative that the born and bred Germans learn to speak Arabic in order...

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Pope Francis hits out at media's veneration of the Easter Bunny around this time of year

Politics 13

Pope Francis has hit out at the media’s veneration of the Easter Bunny around this time of year and says that such a practice is "evil" and “blasphemous” and that it should be condemned to the fullest because it takes people's minds off the real reason for celebrating East...

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France may reconsider having women in the military following latest attack

Politics 2

France may reconsider having women in the military following the latest attack in which a man wrestled a female soldier to the ground at the Orly Airport in Paris and tried to steal her rifle before he was shot dead by her male colleagues. Speaking to Le Parisien after Saturday’s...

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Philippine President bans Good Friday public re-enactment

Politics 3

Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte has placed a permanent ban on the country’s annual Good Friday public re-enactment saying that it is nothing more than pure mockery of Jesus’ sacrifice two thousand years ago and that any church groups caught disobeying his orders will be arrested, charged and subject to imprisonment....

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Dafne Schippers to take up Speed Skating

Sport 5

Dutch Sprinter Dafne Schippers says that in order to further increase her chances of finally becoming an Olympic Champion she is taking up speed skating so that she can participate in the Pyeongchang 2018 Winter Games. Writing on her Facebook wall, the Rio 2016 silver medalist in the 200M said...

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Marta retires from international football

Sport 5

Brazilian-born female footballing superstar Marta, who recently acquired Swedish citizenship, has today officially announced her retirement from international football. The five-time FIFA Player of the Year, one-time World Cup runner-up and two-time Olympic silver medalist, writing on her Facebook wall said...

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Amanda Nunes and partner marry in private ceremony

Sport 13

A report coming out of a Brazilian tabloid called Celebridade says that UFC Bantamweight Champion Amanda Nunes and partner Nina Ansaroff have wed in a private ceremony at Copacabana Beach in Rio de Janeiro. This reporter then contacted Nunes over the phone to confirm if the story was true and Nunes did in fact confirm that it...

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North Korean man commits suicide after losing pictures of Dear Leaders in fire Read story North Korean man commits suicide after losing pictures of Dear Leaders in fire Radical Jew detained in Saudi Arabia in terrorist plot Read story Radical Jew detained in Saudi Arabia in terrorist plot Ronaldo: My face is too perfect to immortalize in a bust Read story Ronaldo: My face is too perfect to immortalize in a bust Switzerland declares Roger Federer's birthday a public holiday Read story Switzerland declares Roger Federer's birthday a public holiday Famke Janssen admits to marijuana use Read story Famke Janssen admits to marijuana use Pope Francis criticized for opening laundromat for homeless Read story Pope Francis criticized for opening laundromat for homeless

The funniest news from around the world: lampooning heads of state, silly things that happen globally, and generally just trying to out-satire mother nature (which isn't always easy by the way!) We put in approximately 14,000 man-monkey-hybrid hours into the writing of every world news headline just to make sure it's as funny as can be. Well, we don't actually do that, but you wouldn't be surprised, would you? Maybe. Sorry. I'm on work experience here and I don't really know whether this is the right thing to be writing. In the meantime, enjoy your news satire website, people!

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