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Titanic Wreck Scanned, Celine Dion Weeps With Envy

Read story Titanic Wreck Scanned, Celine Dion Weeps With Envy

The world was stunned last week as the first full-sized scans of the Titanic's wreckage were released to the public. Never before...

Out of This World: Eurovision 2023 to Celebrate Unique Talents of Martian Robots

Entertainment 0

In an unprecedented move, the 2023 Eurovision Song Contest has announced that its lineup will include a special performance by a group of singing robots hailing all the way from Mars. While the decision has been met with mixed reactions from some of the more conventional Eurovision...

Game makers to develop all future software to run on toasters to ensure compatibility

Sci / Tech 0

In a shocking turn of events, the Entertainment Software Association announced that all PC games will now be manufactured on toaster ovens. This decision came after years of struggling to ensure compatibility with all devices, resulting in the infamous "Will it run doom?" meme...

Unwanted Chairs Get a New Home: In Pet Palaces Across Japan

Business 0

In a move that's sure to cause a frenzy in Japan's already crowded pet market, a Japanese start-up is selling used office chairs as luxury furniture for pets. The move is proving to be quite popular with pet owners who are looking for a cheap yet stylish way to pamper their furry friends....

New Japanese Start-Up, 'BikeButtLuxury', Launches Revolutionary Way to Bring Sweat-Stained Gym Gear into Your Home Decor!

Sci / Tech 0

The world has been rocked by a new wave of luxury furniture, made from what was once considered discarded gym equipment. BikeButtLuxury is the start-up behind the trend, taking male gym bike seats and transforming them into chic and stylish seating options. But the response from the public has been mixed....

Breaking News: Social media to face-altering filter ban shakes up influencers everywhere

Health 0

In a move that has left Instagram models and vloggers alike reeling, social media sites have announced a ban on face-altering filters. In a statement released yesterday, the platforms cited concerns over the impact that such filters may have on young people's self-esteem - a...

Green thumbs beware! Talking to your houseplants may make them smarter but turn you into a plant-brained pea!

Sci / Tech 0

According to a recent study, communicating with your greenery can stimulate their growth and brain function. However, it also comes with a cost - your mental clarity....

Ed Sheeran Accused of Stealing More Than Just Our Hearts

Entertainment 0

In a shocking turn of events, crooner Ed Sheeran made an appearance in an NYC courtroom today to face allegations that his hit song "Thinking Out Loud" steals from the iconic Marvin Gaye classic "Let's Get It On." Fans are devastated, not only by the accusations but by...

The Great British Bake-off star creates emergency pop-up book for Sudan

In a surprising move, "The Great British Bake-Off" sensation Mary Berry has put down her baking utensils and picked up a pen to create an emergency pop-up book for Sudan....

The funniest news from around the world: lampooning heads of state, silly things that happen globally, and generally just trying to out-satire mother nature (which isn't always easy by the way!) We put in approximately 14,000 man-monkey-hybrid hours into the writing of every world news headline just to make sure it's as funny as can be. Well, we don't actually do that, but you wouldn't be surprised, would you? Maybe. Sorry. I'm on work experience here and I don't really know whether this is the right thing to be writing. In the meantime, enjoy your news satire website, people!

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