Rumours of a closed-doors meeting amongst UK police chiefs have been revealed today, suggesting that New Scotland Yard (or just Scotland Yard) will be forced to undergo a name change if Scotland votes for independence later this year.
The likely result of the Scottish Independence referendum is currently on a knife-edge, but a slim majority of polled voters have suggested they will support Scotland to become an independent nation, and begin the process of their secession from the United Kingdom. This Dis-United kingdom may then require a reappraisal to several named products and businesses that have used the union with Scotland within their branding, not least London's Scotland Yard.
"Clearly that last paragraph is badly written and in need of a good editor," said Police Commissioner Gordon. "But nonetheless - Scotland Yard will be a rather awkward name for Central London's biggest and best known crime fighting agency. We're currently polling our own members (stop that giggling) about a possible name change, but so far the results are unclear. Many like the idea of staying the same - Scotland Yard has a ring to it, and literature like Sherlock Holmes makes many keen to retain it. However, others feel betrayed by Scotland's desire for independence, and feel we should retaliate-very much like a baby throws its toys from the pram for some minor but strongly felt slight"
So far the most obvious name change to "New England Yard" has been met with extreme violence. In particular, Welsh and Northern Irish assemblies have already had several half-day long meetings in which the proposed name change has been strongly vetoed, although it is said that many excellent buffets have been wistfully enjoyed.
If you have any further suggestions for potential Scotland Yard name changes, please tweet @Laughsend with your ideas.