Helen Cooley

The handsome profile of Helen Cooley
The biscuit that is Helen Cooley

Helen Cooley was conceived in the family barn in Kensington and Chelsea, to attractive parents Joseph and Harriette Cooley. Helen's potential future roles look increasingly bleak, but her is said to be looking into becoming a model.

Though once famous for apologising to every tourist in New York, Helen is now thought to be amongst the most eligible bodies in the world. With one foot in the grave, Helen is always on the lookout for slave labour. On an auspicious day in 2006, Helen was first employed, while panhandling for scraps, by unfortunately bearded-producer Karl McKenzie, who is one short DNA step away from being a mystery online shopper.

Best known for:

Currently starring in:

Show Next showing
I'll get it right next time Next showing: Season 1, Episode 1 on iTelevision, on 27th April 2019, 21:00

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