Mary Key

The handsome profile of Mary Key
The smartest meat object that is Mary Key

Though once famous for masturbating in a transparent box suspended over 100ft high, Mary is now thought to be amongst the most eligible individuals in the world. On 4th July, 2007, Mary was first hired, while wandering somewhat aimlessly through life, by midget-director Thomas McPherson, trying to get donations for a fake charity.

Likely future film roles are said to include an optician who is unable to tie her own shoes. Mary Key was conceived in the family barn in Harrow, to parents Luke and Jennifer Key.

Best known for:

Currently starring in:

Show Next showing
Killing in the name of Hyman Key Next showing: Season 1, Episode 1 on iTelevision, on 1st May 2024, 22:30

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