Scorpio-Profile

Scorpio

Birth date: 24 October - 21 November

Scorpions are most often very prim and proper, not enjoying fart jokes or Calvin and Hobbes "pissing" pictures. Whilst they do a sense of humour, Scorpio is the star-sign most likely to use the phrase "I have a very good sense of humour, it's you that doesn't".

Whilst being one of the more uptight star-signs, Scorpio is also well endowed in the sexual areas. For men, this can be referenced in the pseudo-medical manner as "Trouser-Snakeage". For women, "Ample Breastage". Many Scorpions are also proud to have at their disposal, an almost insatiable appetite for love and are often quite overpowering in the giving and receiving of attentions.

Scorpio also tend to have a very poor sense of time, often losing it altogether. Whilst this does mean that Scorpions are one of the most likely star-signs to be late for a meeting, it also accounts for the alarming statistic that 47% of all recorded alien-abductees are Scorpions. 98% of those have reported losing time on their way to and from the alien's craft, whilst 21% of them pronounced upon landing that their "butt was sore".

All Scorpions are required by law to have a tattoo of a scorpion placed on the small of their back or on one of their shoulders.


Funny stuff

Get our funny weekly newsletters straight to your inbox
Subscribe to funny newsletter
... AND CLICK
or Find out more first

Consider checking us out and following us on social media:


Taurus horoscope

Cats can eat mice but can't dogs also? This kind of nonsense querying that comes from an older person than you, will......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

Peruvian President declares Monday 10th December 'Shevchenko Day' following UFC 231 title win   BBC reporter fired for "racist" comment while covering FIFA U-17 Women's World Cup match  
Get your own news story published here
Free sign up / Login
Funny newsletter Funny RSS feed