UK News

Read story Leicester win Premier League; Gary Lineker to appear nude on Match of the Day
Sport 2

Leicester City Football Club today celebrate winning the 2015/2016 Barclays Premier League title, with three games to spare. The...

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From Leicester win Premier League; Gary Lineker to appear nude on Match of the Day
"In the end only two teams could have won it and we were that team and the other team was not that team...." - see story

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Euro 2016 parties cancelled after Danny Mills and Alan Shearer declare England's chances as "woeful"

Sport 0

All Euro 2016 parties, shindigs and celebrations have been officially cancelled as England's performance was judged by Match of the Day 'Experts' as "woeful". The declaration, coming from the England hero Alan Shearer, and the... possibly diabetic Danny Mills, has been taken...

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Kissing top cause of UK school nits outbreaks claim boffins

Health 4

Boffins at Laughingstate University yesterday released a report DAMNING UK schools for allowing pupils to share bodily fluids. The act, described by scientists as KISSING, was alleged to have been allowed in up to 97% of schools, and in those schools a WHOPPING 7% of children...

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JEREMY CORBYN FORCEFULLY REMOVED FROM OFFICE.

Politics 3

A defiant Jeremy Corbyn had to be physically removed from the Labour headquarters after having his ass handed to him in a vote of confidence....

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Early Brexit polls suggest people are engaged and believe strongly in the effect their vote will have

Politics 2

The upcoming June 23rd poll for deciding whether the UK will remain as part of the European Union has engaged voters like no other vote from the past century. Pollsters have declared the public's appetite for the vote to be the highest they've ever seen, aided by political roister-doistering...

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80's Singer admits to lip-syncing

Entertainment 8

Popular British 80's Pop Singer Rick Astley who had hits such as Never gonna give you up, Together Forever and She wants to dance with me, has admitted in an interview that he didn't actually sing those songs and that he was actually lip-syncing. Speaking to Music Magazine, Mr. Astley had this to...

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Ronnie Corbett dies; leaves body to nano-science

Entertainment 0

Ronnie Corbett, at last count approximately 3 foot 7 inches of fun and games, died yesterday after a short battle. Very short, if the stories are to be believed, though you mustn't believe everything you read in the papers. The funny man, who was probably best known for the part...

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Tax cheats set to dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge, in new reality television dodgeball show

Business 10

Media-convicted UK tax dodgers are set to undergo a new form of trial this year as the criminal justice system tests a new form of crime prevention concept: reality TV dodgeball. In a brief statement released on Facebook by Judge MC Michaels, we have learned that any celebrity...

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Japanese start-up to sell used female gym bike seats

Health 7

Japanese start-up company Tentacle-Insertion-Company (TIC) has issued a press release today hailing their latest product: the used gym bicycle seat. Lucky members of a kickstarter project launched in early April are set to receive a guaranteed padded gym seat, sat and sweated on by the unmentionable female anatomy....

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More Spoof news and satire from Laughsend

Cilla Black's Surprise Surprise Read story Cilla Black's Surprise Surprise England football team still crap Read story England football team still crap EU demands Brit condoms 10% thicker to ensure less pleasure and fewer accidental children Read story EU demands Brit condoms 10% thicker to ensure less pleasure and fewer accidental children Giant swarm of bees descends on grandmother's car to free queen trapped inside. Read story Giant swarm of bees descends on grandmother's car to free queen trapped inside. Saudis outraged over Theresa May's refusal to wear head scarf during state visit Read story Saudis outraged over Theresa May's refusal to wear head scarf during state visit NHS staff forced to become Premier League footballers for morale and fitness purposes Read story NHS staff forced to become Premier League footballers for morale and fitness purposes

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