UK News

Read story Brexiting News.
Politics 1

Boris Johnson today admitted, he stands firmly behind the implementation of a point-based immigration system, should the British...

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From EU demands Brit condoms 10% thicker to ensure less pleasure and fewer accidental children
"It's an absolute kick in the arse, said Joris Bhonson, Mayor of Hearts...." - see story

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All PC games to first be made on consoles to ensure compatibility

Entertainment 4

Following on from the relatively recent disastrous launches of Batman: Arkham Knight and Assassin’s Creed: Unity, computer game makers have universally agreed to no longer attempt to make any further PC games until they've first been proven to work perfectly on consoles. Mark Adamson, head of Unity Knight Industries 2000, told...

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EU demands Brit condoms 10% thicker to ensure less pleasure and fewer accidental children

Health 5

The EU, or European Union if we absolutely must use its full title, has today declared that Britain must ensure that its condoms are ten percent thicker than those sold elsewhere on the continent. Conspiracy theorists, and politicians running for various appointed positions,...

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England's World Cup-winning Women's Cricket Team Accused of Not Being "Diverse Enough"

Politics 1

The successful England women's cricket team which had a very nervy and exciting win over the Indian women in the final of the ICC Women's World Cup, is being accused of not being "diverse enough." One writer, Jamaican-born Oliver George, writing for the online edition of The London Times in an opinion piece had this to...

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Leicester win Premier League; Gary Lineker to appear nude on Match of the Day

Sport 2

Leicester City Football Club today celebrate winning the 2015/2016 Barclays Premier League title, with three games to spare. The Foxes concluded their season by drawing with Manchester United on Sunday night, and then watching as only rivals to the title,Tottenham Hotspur, could...

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Early Brexit polls suggest people are engaged and believe strongly in the effect their vote will have

Politics 2

The upcoming June 23rd poll for deciding whether the UK will remain as part of the European Union has engaged voters like no other vote from the past century. Pollsters have declared the public's appetite for the vote to be the highest they've ever seen, aided by political roister-doistering...

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Kissing top cause of UK school nits outbreaks claim boffins

Health 4

Boffins at Laughingstate University yesterday released a report DAMNING UK schools for allowing pupils to share bodily fluids. The act, described by scientists as KISSING, was alleged to have been allowed in up to 97% of schools, and in those schools a WHOPPING 7% of children...

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Misprint in latest Brexit polls cause 13% of people to vote for "shake it all about"

Politics 2

The latest Brexit poll, undertaken by Garamond Funeral Services, Cheshire, has revealed that the electorate are becoming increasingly confused by the balloting process. A misprint in the poll caused thirteen percent of voters to answer the poll by adding their own written response....

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Tax cheats set to dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge, in new reality television dodgeball show

Business 10

Media-convicted UK tax dodgers are set to undergo a new form of trial this year as the criminal justice system tests a new form of crime prevention concept: reality TV dodgeball. In a brief statement released on Facebook by Judge MC Michaels, we have learned that any celebrity...

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