UK News

Read story Brexiting News.
Politics 1

Boris Johnson today admitted, he stands firmly behind the implementation of a point-based immigration system, should the British...

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Notable quotable from another story

From Early Brexit polls suggest people are engaged and believe strongly in the effect their vote will have
"The only thing Europe's been good for in the last thirty years is The Final Countdown...." - see story

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EU demands Brit condoms 10% thicker to ensure less pleasure and fewer accidental children

Health 5

The EU, or European Union if we absolutely must use its full title, has today declared that Britain must ensure that its condoms are ten percent thicker than those sold elsewhere on the continent. Conspiracy theorists, and politicians running for various appointed positions,...

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Kissing top cause of UK school nits outbreaks claim boffins

Health 4

Boffins at Laughingstate University yesterday released a report DAMNING UK schools for allowing pupils to share bodily fluids. The act, described by scientists as KISSING, was alleged to have been allowed in up to 97% of schools, and in those schools a WHOPPING 7% of children...

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Early Brexit polls suggest people are engaged and believe strongly in the effect their vote will have

Politics 2

The upcoming June 23rd poll for deciding whether the UK will remain as part of the European Union has engaged voters like no other vote from the past century. Pollsters have declared the public's appetite for the vote to be the highest they've ever seen, aided by political roister-doistering...

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Leicester win Premier League; Gary Lineker to appear nude on Match of the Day

Sport 2

Leicester City Football Club today celebrate winning the 2015/2016 Barclays Premier League title, with three games to spare. The Foxes concluded their season by drawing with Manchester United on Sunday night, and then watching as only rivals to the title,Tottenham Hotspur, could...

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Euro 2016 parties cancelled after Danny Mills and Alan Shearer declare England's chances as "woeful"

Sport 0

All Euro 2016 parties, shindigs and celebrations have been officially cancelled as England's performance was judged by Match of the Day 'Experts' as "woeful". The declaration, coming from the England hero Alan Shearer, and the... possibly diabetic Danny Mills, has been taken...

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JEREMY CORBYN FORCEFULLY REMOVED FROM OFFICE.

Politics 3

A defiant Jeremy Corbyn had to be physically removed from the Labour headquarters after having his ass handed to him in a vote of confidence....

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Japanese start-up to sell used female gym bike seats

Health 7

Japanese start-up company Tentacle-Insertion-Company (TIC) has issued a press release today hailing their latest product: the used gym bicycle seat. Lucky members of a kickstarter project launched in early April are set to receive a guaranteed padded gym seat, sat and sweated on by the unmentionable female anatomy....

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Mayor Khan: London is safer than Warsaw

Politics 7

After yet another terrorist attack, London Mayor Saddiq Khan is claiming that London is safer than Warsaw. Speaking to reporters moments after yesterday's bombing on a London Underground train which left 25 people injured but no deaths, Mr. Khan had this to...

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