UK News

Read story JEREMY CORBYN FORCEFULLY REMOVED FROM OFFICE.
Politics 3

A defiant Jeremy Corbyn had to be physically removed from the Labour headquarters after having his ass handed to him in a vote of confidence....

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From Misprint in latest Brexit polls cause 13% of people to vote for "shake it all about"
"The nature of this poll suggests, to me, that absolutely, what's really important, to the British people, is the preservation, both in common society, and in all those other places where I have no......" - see story

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Misprint in latest Brexit polls cause 13% of people to vote for "shake it all about"

Politics 2

The latest Brexit poll, undertaken by Garamond Funeral Services, Cheshire, has revealed that the electorate are becoming increasingly confused by the balloting process. A misprint in the poll caused thirteen percent of voters to answer the poll by adding their own written response....

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Japanese start-up to sell used female gym bike seats

Health 7

Japanese start-up company Tentacle-Insertion-Company (TIC) has issued a press release today hailing their latest product: the used gym bicycle seat. Lucky members of a kickstarter project launched in early April are set to receive a guaranteed padded gym seat, sat and sweated on by the unmentionable female anatomy....

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Sound Guy Discovers Turning Everything Up On Equaliser Makes Music Sound Perfect

Sci / Tech 3

Tom Falconer, a sound guy for the St David's Church band in Maidenhead, has claimed to have discovered the perfect universal equalisation formula for mixing music according to independent audiophile magazine 'Acoustink'. The technique however is simply to just "turn all the knob...

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EU demands Brit condoms 10% thicker to ensure less pleasure and fewer accidental children

Health 5

The EU, or European Union if we absolutely must use its full title, has today declared that Britain must ensure that its condoms are ten percent thicker than those sold elsewhere on the continent. Conspiracy theorists, and politicians running for various appointed positions,...

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Brexiting News.

Politics 1

Boris Johnson today admitted, he stands firmly behind the implementation of a point-based immigration system, should the British voters decide to leave the European Union. Speaking to a crowd of cheering campaigners at Ye olde Burgerbraukeller; the mildly-enthusiastic Euro skeptic...

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Kissing top cause of UK school nits outbreaks claim boffins

Health 4

Boffins at Laughingstate University yesterday released a report DAMNING UK schools for allowing pupils to share bodily fluids. The act, described by scientists as KISSING, was alleged to have been allowed in up to 97% of schools, and in those schools a WHOPPING 7% of children...

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Gay robots launched in London, UK, Apple store

Entertainment 0

Some will tell you that the original gay robots can be found in George Lucas' Star Wars, the epic documentary spanning the forty seven years of celebrity cat-fighting in early Hollywood. But today one London Apple store upped-the-ante by gambling on Chip - the latest gay robot...

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Leicester win Premier League; Gary Lineker to appear nude on Match of the Day

Sport 2

Leicester City Football Club today celebrate winning the 2015/2016 Barclays Premier League title, with three games to spare. The Foxes concluded their season by drawing with Manchester United on Sunday night, and then watching as only rivals to the title,Tottenham Hotspur, could...

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