UK News

Read story It's official! Lancashire has more holes than anywhere else in the UK! "One swallowed my Bertie," claims distraught mother of nine.
Politics 1

Balderstone, Lancashire has been named as having more potholes than anywhere else in the...

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From Misprint in latest Brexit polls cause 13% of people to vote for "shake it all about"
"The nature of this poll suggests, to me, that absolutely, what's really important, to the British people, is the preservation, both in common society, and in all those other places where I have no......" - see story

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Edinburgh energy supplier folds blaming global warming and gnarly Scots.

Business 0

Scottish energy supplier, Oor Energy, ran out of gas blaming the current climate and "gnarly" Scots....

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Mayor Khan: London is safer than Warsaw

Politics 7

After yet another terrorist attack, London Mayor Saddiq Khan is claiming that London is safer than Warsaw. Speaking to reporters moments after yesterday's bombing on a London Underground train which left 25 people injured but no deaths, Mr. Khan had this to...

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Teacher crisis! "Our children aren't getting no education!" claims Minister for Education.

Politics 2

In an attempt to plug the 'teacher gap', the gap between the number of teachers we need and the number of teachers we have, the UK government is trialling a radical scheme to actually pay teachers for staying in the classroom....

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Misprint in latest Brexit polls cause 13% of people to vote for "shake it all about"

Politics 2

The latest Brexit poll, undertaken by Garamond Funeral Services, Cheshire, has revealed that the electorate are becoming increasingly confused by the balloting process. A misprint in the poll caused thirteen percent of voters to answer the poll by adding their own written response....

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Airbus wings scandal! Company threatens to fly the UK in event of no-deal Brexit.

Politics 5

Airbus warned that a no-deal Brexit could force them to move wing-building operations from the UK. Describing the current lack of a Brexit agreement as a "disgrace", Airbus CEO and German, Tom Enders, said: "We will have to make potentially very harmful decisions for the...

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"EU may move on Brexit deal," says Hammond. "Or they may not."

Politics 0

Philip Hammond, the UK's Chancellor of the Exchequer, said the EU may be willing to move on the "red lines" it had imposed on the deal it had negotiated for the UK to leave the...

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Snow shock! Met Office claims, "It's not easy predicting the weather".

Politics 10

After 6" of snow fell across the UK last night, the Met Office, today, said the UK might have snow. A spokesperson said: "We've been predicting snow for six weeks and we've finally got it right." When it was pointed out that the snow had fallen 12 hours before their prediction, the spokesperson replied: "Oh, fuck off!

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Morrisons trial 20p paper carrier bags. Verdict - guilty!

Politics 0

The UK's fourth largest supermarket chain, Morrisons, is to trial 20p paper carrier bags...

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Given Time, by Paul London

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