US News
Big Pharma Takes on H2o: Introducing Anti-water, the New Way to Stay Thirsty!
Business 0In a bold move, a pharmaceutical company is set to release a new product that they claim will revolutionize the way people think about hydration. Anti-Water, the world's first ever anti-hydrating agent, promises to keep you thirsty all day long...
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James Corden Says Goodbye to America and Everyone Says 'good Riddance'
Entertainment 0LOS ANGELES - Late-night talk show host James Corden signed off for the final time Friday night, bidding farewell to his American audience with a heartfelt message....
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Local Resident Arrested for Sneezing Like a Speeding Train
Health 0In a shocking turn of events, a man has been taken into custody for sneezing too loudly in public. The incident took place inside New York's Central Park where the sneeze could reportedly be heard from two blocks away, causing mass panic among the residents....
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Breaking News: Trump to use Wingdings font to appeal to Gen Z, because who needs words, right?
0In an effort to connect with the younger generation, the Trump campaign has announced it will exclusively use the Wingdings font in all its communications. Trump's team believes that the use of emojis, winged hearts, and smiley faces will make all the difference in this upcoming election....
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Local woman finally achieves joy by consuming an entire pizza pie daily
Health 0In a groundbreaking discovery, a recent study has found that the key to eternal happiness lies in one simple food: pizza. After months of observation and analysis, scientists have declared that consuming at least one full pizza every day has been proven to make individuals significantly happier than those who do not indulge....
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Nocheerios Cereal: the Perfect Dry Breakfast That Sunk a Company
Business 0News just in: Nocheerios breakfast cereal has caused a stir in the cereal world, bankrupting its manufacturer, Cheerful Cereals Inc. It turns out that the cereal was designed specifically to be eaten dry, without adding milk...
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George W Bush to Take Over as the New Host of The Price is Right and Finally Find the Weapons of Mass Destruction
Entertainment 0The news of George W Bush taking over as the new host of The Price is Right has sent shockwaves throughout the nation. The public is divided on the appointment, with some praising the former president's "charismatic" personality, while others believe it's a sign of the end times....
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Pop star Katy Perry loses battle for trademark with small-time real estate agent
Business 0LOS ANGELES - Pop star Katy Perry has lost her battle for trademark over her name after a small-time real estate agent from Indiana, Katie Perry, successfully sued the singer for using a name similar to hers...
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