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Woody dead after someone actually poisoned the water hole

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Woody, the self-style rootinest tootinest cowboy in the wild wild west, has today died after someone poisoned the water hole. The cowboy, known for his hard fightin' and hard drinkin', died following a short stay in Pixar Hospital. He leaves behind a widow, Buzz Lightyear, and seven adopted offspring. Toxicology reports at first placed blame on the incident as an overdose of ketamine, but after further consultation the water hole was tested and was found to have abnormally high concentrations of dihydrogen monoxide.

The death of the much-beloved hero of Andy's Bedroom has come as a shock to most of its residents. Slotted Pig, who is said by most to have had a crush on Woody for most of his life, was first to send his condolences.

"Eh - in lots of ways I thought he had it coming to him. He was constantly spouting on about poison in the water hole, which I thought was him referring to a venereal disease, or a nasty yeast infection. I told him - you've got to be careful you don't become the boy who cried wolf. Well, maybe he didn't hear me right, because he went on saying it like it was some sort of joke. Well, the last laugh's on him now. Jerk."

Others have paid respects to Woody in similar ways, with Etch drawing a picture of Woody dressed in Bo Peep's dress, and the weird dinosaur character repeating the words "I'm afraid of pies" over and over.

The funeral will be held this weekend, and all are welcome to attend. Mr Lightyear has requested that all attendees wear snakes in their boots, out of respect.

Given Time, by Paul London Given Time, by Paul London

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Given Time, by Paul London

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