Avantnews - Parody and satire stories
Mitt Romney Secretly Prime Minister of Canada
By Ion Zwitter, Avant News EditorOttawa, Canada, February 5, 2008Late into Super Tuesday primary election voting today, two intrepid investigative journalists with the Washington Post revealed that Mitt Romney, Republican candidate for
Citing Faltering Economy, Lawmakers To Forego Cocktails
By Ion Zwitter, Avant News EditorWashington, D.C., May 19, 2008In a bi-partisan, largely symbolic gesture intended to draw attention to the faltering US economy and its impact on the vanishing middle class,
Nostalgic Bush Says Fy2009 Budget "Last Chance To Shaft The Poor"
By Ion Zwitter, Avant News EditorWashington, D.C., February 12, 2008An unusually somber and introspective President George W. Bush, presenting the details of his $3.1 trillion FY2009 budget proposal for members of the
Ford, Gm To Acquire Each Other
By Ion Zwitter, Avant News EditorDetroit, August 19, 2009Automotive giants Ford Motor Company (F) and General Motors (GM) galvanized American stock markets early this afternoon with nearly simultaneous hostile bids to acquire
In Surprise About-face, Bill Clinton Backs Obama
By Ion Zwitter, Avant News Marital CounselorChicago, February 5, 2008Astounding political pundits from Anchorage to Miami, former president Bill Clinton has rescinded his endorsement of spouse Hillary Clinton in favor of rock
Ron Paul Sweeps Republican Primary Elections In California, New York
By Ion Zwitter, Avant News Elections AnalystSacramento, February 6, 2008Republican candidate for president Ron Paul swept the primary elections in several key states on Super Tuesday. The candidate, who despite the support
Cheney Offers To Stay On As Veep
By Ion Zwitter, Avant News EditorWashington, D.C., March 12, 2008In a move that surprised most pundits, Dick Cheney has offered to “stay on” as Vice President following the conclusion of President Bush's
Mitt Romney Campaign Sought Hgh From John Mccain Campaign
By Ion Zwitter, Avant News Elections CorrespondentDuluth, February 3, 2008A humiliated senior advisor to the Mitt Romney for President campaign admitted yesterday that he on several occasions had “tried to score” HGH,
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