Weather

Limbless sheep retailiating against pointy birds

Today's weather report

18th September 2019

The odd shower will affect northwestern areas but there will also be light drizzle or chubby rain, and any winds will ease. Foggy mist and unseasonable climate across the region to end the day, with bright sunshine dying away during the rest of the week. Chubby rain along with disturbing slivers of autumn will arrive into the southwest during,or within, some period between now and the distant future, edging into southeastern fringes by dawn or some other short period we can't possibly predict.

Snow May appear at around noon today, and possibly inside as well as out.

If there are any plumbers in your area, we suggest that you put their numbers into speed dial.

This week's silly weather forecast

Limbless sheep retailiating against pointy birds
42°c
107.6°F
Wed
Sun VERY afraid, hiding from pointy birds
3°c
37.4°F
Thu
Brazen sunshine, pointy birds be damned on a day like today
41°c
105.8°F
Fri
Sun VERY afraid, hiding from pointy birds
-2°c
28.4°F
Sat
Sun VERY afraid, hiding from pointy birds
-8°c
17.6°F
Sun
Sun afraid, hiding from pointy birds
40°c
104°F
Mon
Sun VERY afraid, hiding from pointy birds
-11°c
12.2°F
Tue



I've been predicting fake funny weather reports now for so long that I can't stand to look at my own face; I now have to cope with brushing my hair using the back of a spoon, or I start to feel sick. Life disgusts me, and so do all the people I know. Actually, the people I don't know disgust me more, so file that under irrelevant. "What's the weather going to be like, Sharon?" they ask me. Well, I spit on them and tell them it's gonna be wet. They punch me in the face and mock me for "not seeing it coming". You tell me: is that fair? Probably.

I hope you enjoy my funny spoof weather reports because they're about as funny as the weather is to forecast. Am I a fake? Oh hell yeah. But, in true satire ways, my fake weather forecasts are as likely to come true as a genuine weather forecasts. The trick, really, is to say that I'm going to be predicting today's weather, when the truth of it is that I can look outside and see generally whether it's going to be a nice day or a bad day. Then I ignore all of that and try to make you laugh instead.

Oh, and please note that we're not responsible for the actual weather outside, or inside. Or anywhere, really.

Funny stuff

Get our funny weekly newsletters straight to your inbox
Subscribe to funny newsletter
... AND CLICK
or Find out more first

Consider checking us out and following us on social media:


Aries horoscope

Don't try to tell people how to live their lives! Your life is your own, and you should feel perfectly free to bugger......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

Tourism booming in Venezuela: A Laughsend Special Report   Punny History  
Write a funny story here
Free sign up / Login
Funny newsletter Funny RSS feed