Weather

Limbless sheep retailiating against pointy birds

Today's weather report

22nd March 2017

Wholly unsuitable in every way with foggy mist in the west. Light drizzle elsewhere. Temperatures will vary which can cause sudden outbreaks of alarm.

The report for today suggests it will be sleety, with chubby rain during the earlier half of the afternoon. Sunny spells along with horrendous winds will arrive into the south during the weekend, edging into northwestern fringes by Thursday.

Principally it has a an unknown chance of being windy in your local area as certain visions of a terrible and quite simply beyond the pale upcoming forecast evade your happy thinking.

This week's silly weather forecast

Limbless sheep retailiating against pointy birds
11°c
51.8°F
Wed
Sun afraid, hiding from pointy birds
29°c
84.2°F
Thu
Pointy birds get eaten by reinforcements; still attack limbless sheep
42°c
107.6°F
Fri
Brazen sunshine, pointy birds be damned on a day like today
21°c
69.8°F
Sat
Limbless sheep being attacked by pointy birds
20°c
68°F
Sun
Limbless sheep being attacked by pointy birds
-3°c
26.6°F
Mon
Pointy birds get reinforcements against limbless sheep
18°c
64.4°F
Tue



I've been predicting fake funny weather reports now for so long that I can't stand to look at my own face; I now have to cope with brushing my hair using the back of a spoon, or I start to feel sick. Life disgusts me, and so do all the people I know. Actually, the people I don't know disgust me more, so file that under irrelevant. "What's the weather going to be like, Sharon?" they ask me. Well, I spit on them and tell them it's gonna be wet. They punch me in the face and mock me for "not seeing it coming". You tell me: is that fair? Probably.

I hope you enjoy my funny spoof weather reports because they're about as funny as the weather is to forecast. Am I a fake? Oh hell yeah. But, in true satire ways, my fake weather forecasts are as likely to come true as a genuine weather forecasts. The trick, really, is to say that I'm going to be predicting today's weather, when the truth of it is that I can look outside and see generally whether it's going to be a nice day or a bad day. Then I ignore all of that and try to make you laugh instead.

Oh, and please note that we're not responsible for the actual weather outside, or inside. Or anywhere, really.

Funny stuff

Get our funny weekly newsletters straight to your inbox
Subscribe to funny newsletter
... AND CLICK
or Find out more first

Consider checking us out and following us on social media:


Taurus horoscope

Take care when opening up an email from a friend today as you may not enjoy the electronic content inside. Your ability......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

Diane Kruger under fire for apparently making Nazi salute at photographer   Switzerland declares Roger Federer's birthday a public holiday  
Write for Laughsend - it's easy and fun!
Free sign up / Login
Funny newsletter Funny RSS feed