Be amazed! Be invigorated! Be dazzled by our extraordinarily funny spoof TV guide. Tonnes of monkey hours went into writing our fake TV schedule, featuring all new never seen before television shows; we absolutely did not scrip any title sequences, there were no attempts to record the soundtracks - just so you'd have the most amazingly beautifully crafted fake TV show television experience. We hope you enjoy our expert programming.
What's on? Today, 24th January 2019
Off airBreakfast newsIt's grim up northSurf's down, dudeI couldn't eat my dinner, but I would like some puddingExciting Fun with Poo BearI ate it all in one sittingYou know it's fresh when it cries on youLunchtime newsKiller bee robots from Eastern EuropeOld man and his cartCook with whatever's left in your fridgeThe odds aren't good but we still prevail every damned episodeI was proud of my designing skills 'til you came alongPlay me that record again, I might recognise the tuneTears of a ClownSlags n SlutsEvening newsLocal newsFriends who are fat don't let fat friends eat fatBuck FuddiesWet wipes: a tale of woeNight newsDance like yo legs is on fire!Get your balls out of my courtKill the geekDance like yo legs is on fire!Understanding irony
Off airWake up losersNormaLawks a lordyWeekly MP bribeLoose menNot the whole pennyNews in the AfternoonAnd in the morning the rash should be goneThe street where you liveI just want my money, that's allThe investigator did itAvery does crime & timeHands-down pants-downNews close to youNews in the EveningAll this used to be fieldsPeople who live next doorYou carry a pink umbrella and you're not gay?If it moves - kill it, screw it or give it up for adoptionIt won't fit, it's too big!Surely it's too late for news?!Killing in the name of Hyman KeyJudge, Jury and SexecutionerThe rainbow is my lover
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