Be amazed! Be invigorated! Be dazzled by our extraordinarily funny spoof TV guide. Tonnes of monkey hours went into writing our fake TV schedule, featuring all new never seen before television shows; we absolutely did not scrip any title sequences, there were no attempts to record the soundtracks - just so you'd have the most amazingly beautifully crafted fake TV show television experience. We hope you enjoy our expert programming.
What's on? Today, 18th September 2019
Off airBreakfast newsIt's grim up northSurf's down, dudeI couldn't eat my dinner, but I would like some puddingExciting Fun with Poo BearI ate it all in one sittingYou know it's fresh when it cries on youLunchtime newsKiller bee robots from Eastern EuropeOld man and his cartCook with whatever's left in your fridgeThe odds aren't good but we still prevail every damned episodeI was proud of my designing skills 'til you came alongPlay me that record again, I might recognise the tuneTears of a ClownSlags n SlutsEvening newsLocal newsFriends who are fat don't let fat friends eat fatCracker RooseveltWet wipes: a tale of woeNight newsMy car and where I parked itIf you can digest it, you win a live oneThe truth about gym classes and rageDance like yo legs is on fire!Jocks and bullies: how to destroy their soul from a healthy distance
Off airWake up losersNormaHoliday slums wish you were thereCouncils and how they (don't) workLoose menNot the whole pennyNews in the AfternoonAnd in the morning the rash should be goneThe street where you liveI just want my money, that's allAvery does crime & timeThe investigator did itHands-down pants-downNews close to youNews in the EveningAll this used to be fieldsPeople who live next doorNo leg to stand onIf it moves - kill it, screw it or give it up for adoptionI done killed the witchSurely it's too late for news?!The garrulous inner workings of Michael FosterDo what you gotta doMary Russo
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