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James Nobody Shocked to Discover Interest Rates Will Remain High
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Horoscopes
Aries
All your wishes can come true if you're willing to briefly take on a life of crime. Whilst we are not all superhuman,...Taurus
Feel free to go dancing until 3am with various transsexuals at a local notorious disco. Only this way will you be...Gemini
Your future may be tainted by a mistake in your past. Now is the time for a new resolution. Today might be tiring,...Cancer
Homeless people may wander up to you today and offer to buy the magazine you're holding. You are a carrier bag and...Leo
Everything you hear today will sound echoey and dull. A trip to the doctors might be necessary later next week. This...Virgo
Today can be what you make of it: beautiful or throughly horrific. Check your email daily. Because you never know...Libra
Install that software, make it a priority! (Don't blame us if your computer starts dissolving) Everything you read...Scorpio
Perhaps it's true that you're not the immense stud you once were. Monsters plague your every move and will soon be t...Sagittarius
A new love will present itself today, grab it with both hands, in all possible places. Fire is your symbol for today.Capricorn
Just because people laugh at you doesn't make you a comedian. Your lucky horse for today is: Sombrero's Lid. We having...
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