TRUMP IS BALD!

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US News Politics 1

Donald Trump has finally confessed to wearing a toupe! During the US Presidential Address last night, Trump owned up to wearing a hairpiece! Speaking on all US network channels, he admitted, "I couldn't in good conscience withhold this knowledge anymore from the US electorate!"...

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From Tourism booming in Venezuela: A Laughsend Special Report
"The majority of Venezuelans love him because he is a wonderful President...." - see story

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MP jailed in speeding case - "You ought to be hanged!" says judge.

UK News Politics 3

Labour MP for Outer Smeggleswick, Debs Dotamaya, 35, was jailed for three months for perverting the course of justice....

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Donald Trump's $5.7bn Wall Fund game show - Where's My Wig?

US News Politics 1

A White House spokesperson revealed that US president, Donald Trump, has a new initiative to raise the $5.7bn he wants for his Mexican border wall...

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Aries

Your mind is filled with thoughts of sexual inadequacy and hey, maybe you're right. Cartoons will flavour the day...
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Taurus

Your computer is filled with Spyware. Please find a way to clean it without forcing me to dole out solicitations to v...
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Gemini

Take your time over getting where you're going today. You're only going to have shitty things happen when you get...
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Cancer

Be wary of all new friends today as they may turn out to be Russian spies, or possibly wannabe astronomers. Chew the...
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Leo

With every passing moment you are pissing away your life reading nonsense on websites. In many ways you should really...
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Virgo

Unfortunately for you, the way forward can sometimes be the way backwards this week. This may become a particularly...
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Libra

You are to be complemented for your skill at navigating websites. Hope can be found in the bottom of some packets...
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Scorpio

You may think that starting afresh on Monday would be of some comfort, but it really won't be. If you don't care what...
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Sagittarius

The future holds much joy and happiness for someone close to you. But not you. Oh no, you're screwed. Only with your...
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Capricorn

Damage caused by rage might cost you around £250 this weekend. Avoid posh bars. Gambling is something that may get...
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Aquarius

"Headlice!" is not something to be screamed in terror at the local bus stop. Going "wild" does not necessarily mean...
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Pisces

Avoid serious questions wherever possible today and TIE YOUR SHOES DAMMIT! When the morning is done, you will have...
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