Big Pharma Takes on H2o: Introducing Anti-water, the New Way to Stay Thirsty!

In a bold move, a pharmaceutical company is set to release a new product that they claim will revolutionize the way people think about hydration. Anti-Water, the world's first ever anti-hydrating agent, promises to keep you thirsty all day long.

The company's CEO, Mr. Pennymoney, said in a press release that "we have always been committed to finding innovative ways to improve people's lives. And what could be more important than preventing the dangers of over-hydration?"

While the general public has expressed some skepticism about the new product, fans of Mr. Pennymoney (who some have described as "a cross between Scrooge McDuck and Voldemort") have been quick to defend him. "I trust him completely," said one loyal follower. "If he says we should stop drinking water, who am I to argue?"

Anti-Water is set to hit stores next month, and early adopters are already lining up. "I always knew drinking water was bad for you!" exclaimed one self-described "health guru," throwing a plastic bottle of water into the trash. "Finally, a product that will save me from the dangers of hydration!"

But not everyone is convinced. Dr. Betsy McScience, a renowned expert in the field of hydration, urged caution. "I'm all for innovation, but recommending people stop drinking water is just plain dangerous. Water is essential for life, and any product claiming otherwise is just a gimmick."

Regardless of opinions on Anti-Water, one thing is clear: with catchphrases like "stay thirsty, my friends" and "hydrate or die-drate" already making the rounds, this product is guaranteed to make a splash. Or, you know, not.