Funny horoscopes 2016
Our funny horoscopes just got funnier with parody astrology! Brought to you by our favourite zodiac experts, choose from your astrological star sign below and check out your free daily funny horoscope with a beautiful parody of your love and romance readings for 2015. Click on the appropriate zodiac sign and you'll be whisked away into a hilarious horoscope journey. Also, don't forget to check your romantic love horoscopes.
Wood may be lucky for you this week, although you'd probably prefer meaty planks to irritating splinters. Commenting on a nearby person's "peaches"
Funny Aries Horoscope for Today
Romance is in the air today, just over the north of France. If you don't happen to be near the north of France then chances are you're going to...
Romantic Aries Horoscope for 2016
Ariens are probably due for a bit of a come-back. During the 90s and the early part of the 00s...
Aries Star-Sign Profile
Wires, connections, switches, plugs, hot burning sensations, melted shoes. It's all a nightmare, and it's coming to visit you. Soon. One man cannot...
Funny Taurus Horoscope for Today
You set your sights too high, it's time to lower them in order to find true love. Be aware that marrying your own pets is not allowed in most count...
Romantic Taurus Horoscope for 2016
Whilst occasionally malodorous, Taureans are reknowned for their good sense of humor and their ability to laugh at the strangest...
Taurus Star-Sign Profile
Most of what you do may be questioned this week - however, you will fly through those questions with ease and be praised for your general application.
Funny Gemini Horoscope for Today
Fire, brimstone and the devil's genitals - none of these will get in your way as you chase your way through beelzebub's lair in order to land yourself...
Romantic Gemini Horoscope for 2016
Gemini or "The Twins", is one of the more sensual of star-signs. This sensuality is often marred...
Gemini Star-Sign Profile
Spank yourself silly today because you're been VERY VERY bad. Everything you've ever felt about anything will be tested today during some troubling...
Funny Cancer Horoscope for Today
Three times a lady is a hell of a lot of lady, you might think. But later on this week you might thinking "Well, now that just seems like a fairly...
Romantic Cancer Horoscope for 2016
Cancer, "the sign of the crabs" is (somewhat) ironically one of the signs that is least likely to contract VD...
Cancer Star-Sign Profile
Sandwiches often seem harmless until they force their way into your stomach and start screaming and banging. Your lucky goat name for today is:
Funny Leo Horoscope for Today
Plans for the future are put on hold today as a certain someone turns your head and breaks three vertebrae. Spitting is a filthy habit and may put...
Romantic Leo Horoscope for 2016
Leo - the lion! Strong, powerful, masterly - the Leo has an awesome responsibility to take care of all of us...
Leo Star-Sign Profile
You might find yourself on the wrong end of a stick of wood today. Tantalising new evidence that you're about to have fun is going to reveal itself...
Funny Virgo Horoscope for Today
You will overhear gossip today about your love life whilst you are sat on the toilet. You may have cause to damn your flatulent ways before you...
Romantic Virgo Horoscope for 2016
Virgo, "The Virgin", can be far from virginal and is often extremely outgoing, forthcoming and giving...
Virgo Star-Sign Profile
Dancing around like a fairy is a great way to lose weight and strengthen those legs. Feeling locked up when you're in an open park is a sure sign...
Funny Libra Horoscope for Today
A horoscope will affect your decisions today as love will strike on your heart and make you ask someone out, someone you would never previously...
Romantic Libra Horoscope for 2016
Librans are sometimes known to go in for wife/husband swapping, and "swinging" appears to be...
Libra Star-Sign Profile
Death can stalk you in all forms, even cute little pussy cats and slugs. Beware of all cats who have slugs attached to their backs. Holiday, it...
Funny Scorpio Horoscope for Today
News will come from a former colleague that for years you have both been in love with each other. This will be a surprise for you because you've...
Romantic Scorpio Horoscope for 2016
Scorpions are most often very prim and proper, not enjoying fart jokes or Calvin and Hobbes...
Scorpio Star-Sign Profile
"I breed germs" is not a good way to answer the company telephone. Even if your company is called "I Breed Germs". You can't hide from the rest...
Funny Capricorn Horoscope for Today
Your marital status may change this week, either due to some pre-planned marriage type thing, or possibly just a typing error on a car insurance...
Romantic Capricorn Horoscope for 2016
Capricornians - the most gentle of all the star signs, always ready to help a friend in need without secretly eyeing...
Capricorn Star-Sign Profile
Shallow puddles may deceive you today. Be wary of all new friends today as they may turn out to be Russian spies, or possibly wannabe astronomers.
Funny Pisces Horoscope for Today
Waiting for your loved one to come to you could be a big mistake. This is especially true for at least one person today, whose loved one happens...
Romantic Pisces Horoscope for 2016
Pisces are to astrology what the Vulcans are to Star Trek. They are the peacekeepers...
Pisces Star-Sign Profile
Remember, our horoscopes change daily, so remember to follow us on Twitter or join us on Facebook for your daily treat! And if you're not at all interested in astrology or the zodiac, you can get a free daily fortune cookie straight in your inbox!
These pages are intentionally silly - comedy fortunes to not live your life by! Please read our new web page about why laughsend writes these horoscope pages.
The thought of you losing your mind is making you lose your mind. If you ever get out of that hole, the chances are......