Funny horoscopes 2015
Our funny horoscopes just got funnier with parody astrology! Brought to you by our favourite zodiac expert Ermstrum Galanheit, choose from your astrological star sign and check out your free daily funny horoscope with a beautiful parody of your love and romance readings for 2015. Your very own star-sign profile, whatever zodiac you are, is awaiting your own personal parody! Just click on the appropriate zodiac sign below and you'll be whisked away into a hilarious horoscope journey. Also, don't forget to check your romantic love horoscopes.
NEW: Your horoscope for Valentine's 2015
You have many more years ahead of you. If you are extremely tired, you may find that you fall asleep at some point. Your stupidity today will be...
Funny Aries Horoscope for Today
Romance is in the air today, just over the north of France. If you don't happen to be near the north of France then chances are you're going to...
Romantic Aries Horoscope for 2015
Ariens are probably due for a bit of a come-back. During the 90s and the early part of the 00s...
Aries Star-Sign Profile
Sandwich is your lucky word for today and is likely to be involved in some sort of belly-filling incident. Limericks are great, but perhaps you...
Funny Taurus Horoscope for Today
You set your sights too high, it's time to lower them in order to find true love. Be aware that marrying your own pets is not allowed in most count...
Romantic Taurus Horoscope for 2015
Whilst occasionally malodorous, Taureans are reknowned for their good sense of humor and their ability to laugh at the strangest...
Taurus Star-Sign Profile
Pretending to pick fleas off a new member of staff may seem appealing, but the gag may be on you if you actually find some. The law may be your...
Funny Gemini Horoscope for Today
Fire, brimstone and the devil's genitals - none of these will get in your way as you chase your way through beelzebub's lair in order to land yourself...
Romantic Gemini Horoscope for 2015
Gemini or "The Twins", is one of the more sensual of star-signs. This sensuality is often marred...
Gemini Star-Sign Profile
Bask in the glory of your achievements today. A new love will present itself today, grab it with both hands, in all possible places. See how clever...
Funny Cancer Horoscope for Today
Three times a lady is a hell of a lot of lady, you might think. But later on this week you might thinking "Well, now that just seems like a fairly...
Romantic Cancer Horoscope for 2015
Cancer, "the sign of the crabs" is (somewhat) ironically one of the signs that is least likely to contract VD...
Cancer Star-Sign Profile
Boom! And there goes the last piece of evidence that you were ever here...no-one will ever suspect. Many of your feelings can be expressed in the...
Funny Leo Horoscope for Today
Plans for the future are put on hold today as a certain someone turns your head and breaks three vertebrae. Spitting is a filthy habit and may put...
Romantic Leo Horoscope for 2015
Leo - the lion! Strong, powerful, masterly - the Leo has an awesome responsibility to take care of all of us...
Leo Star-Sign Profile
Your daily rituals are what keep you going. Avoid the temptation to change your ways, lest you become half the person you are today. Damnation awai...
Funny Virgo Horoscope for Today
You will overhear gossip today about your love life whilst you are sat on the toilet. You may have cause to damn your flatulent ways before you...
Romantic Virgo Horoscope for 2015
Virgo, "The Virgin", can be far from virginal and is often extremely outgoing, forthcoming and giving...
Virgo Star-Sign Profile
You can test yourself today by attempting to abstain from gratuitous sex or violence. The computer you are trying to access has forbidden you entry...
Funny Libra Horoscope for Today
A horoscope will affect your decisions today as love will strike on your heart and make you ask someone out, someone you would never previously...
Romantic Libra Horoscope for 2015
Librans are sometimes known to go in for wife/husband swapping, and "swinging" appears to be...
Libra Star-Sign Profile
Show a loved one you care. The food of love is music, only if it's Phil Collins and he's feeding you some kind of grapes whilst offering many of...
Funny Scorpio Horoscope for Today
News will come from a former colleague that for years you have both been in love with each other. This will be a surprise for you because you've...
Romantic Scorpio Horoscope for 2015
Scorpions are most often very prim and proper, not enjoying fart jokes or Calvin and Hobbes...
Scorpio Star-Sign Profile
Today is another day, and all can be well both here and in Denmark. Your choice of reading material is starting to swerve dangerously into the "blu...
Funny Capricorn Horoscope for Today
Your marital status may change this week, either due to some pre-planned marriage type thing, or possibly just a typing error on a car insurance...
Romantic Capricorn Horoscope for 2015
Capricornians - the most gentle of all the star signs, always ready to help a friend in need without secretly eyeing...
Capricorn Star-Sign Profile
A masterplan is forming inside your head and you'll be ready to put it into action any day now. There might not be a tomorrow, but all indications...
Funny Pisces Horoscope for Today
Waiting for your loved one to come to you could be a big mistake. This is especially true for at least one person today, whose loved one happens...
Romantic Pisces Horoscope for 2015
Pisces are to astrology what the Vulcans are to Star Trek. They are the peacekeepers...
Pisces Star-Sign Profile
Remember, our horoscopes change daily, so remember to follow us on Twitter or join us on Facebook for your daily treat! And if you're not at all interested in astrology or the zodiac, you can get a free daily fortune cookie straight in your inbox!
These pages are intentionally silly - comedy fortunes to not live your life by! Please read our new web page about why laughsend writes these horoscope pages.
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You're as transparent as a blast of canned air - try to be more complex by wearing hats that are clearly too small......