Romantic Virgo love horoscope


Birth date: 23 August - 22 September

You will overhear gossip today about your love life whilst you are sat on the toilet. You may have cause to damn your flatulent ways before you hear the really juicy bit.

Cheating is going to occur within the next day, although it is unsure who is at fault. It could, actually, just be in a game of cards or monopoly.

Love is a wonderful thing that can truly change your life for the better. However, the chances of this happening to you anytime before lunch tomorrow are so remote that you might as well quit pretending that you're well liked, go home and eat ice-cream until your brain freezes.

Given Time, by Paul London

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