Your free, funny Virgo horoscope for today

Virgo

Birth date: 23 August - 22 September

The following is your Virgo horoscope for today and is filled with love, and we wish you only great things.

You yearn to be a farmer just so that you can be out standing in your field. You are a carrier bag and life is one big supermarket. Now you're fully engrossed in that analogy, I want you to think of me as the store announcer. "Clean up in aisle 12". That's as exciting as it gets.

Telling your partner that you are better than they at sex, is probably not going to win you any favours.

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