Your free, funny Virgo horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Virgo

Virgo

Birth date: 23 August - 22 September

The following is your Virgo horoscope for today and is filled with love, and we wish you only great things.

In other countries, how you'll feel about this afternoon could get you arrested and shot... at dawn, without a blindfold, and with a stinging sensation in the groin.

The very thought of coming up with a horoscope for you made me laugh. You may be the most pathetic thing I've ever come across - but DON'T BE SAD! You are on the verge of a massive breakthrough.

Things are going to come to a head today and either go well, go badly, or go...kinda...OK.

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