VirgoBirth date: 23 August - 22 September
The following is your Virgo horoscope for today and is filled with love, and we wish you only great things.
When "taking out the trash" remember that blood stains don't easily wash out of white shirts. Hit it all you want, but the lift will take as long as it will take no matter how forcefully you press the button.
Beware of people offering free screensavers.
More from LaughsendMexican President: Allowing Honduran migrants into our country is our duty as Latin Americans Netherlands' Coach Blind following impressive win over Germany: This is the start of the turnaround for Dutch Football
Looking for more funny star sign related laughs?
Our most popular funny stories