Your free, funny Virgo horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Virgo

Virgo

Birth date: 23 August - 22 September

The following is your Virgo horoscope for today and is filled with love, and we wish you only great things.

The lights are on, nobody's home and it's time to download some porn off the internet. Controlling your situation may become more difficult than you imagine when you're strapped down inside a barrel.

Hope will always get you through your problems. Yes, "hope" your doctor is mistaken or misinformed about your unforunate predicament.

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