Science & Technology

Read story Twitter to replace email by 2018
US News 7

Technologists have today make the bold claim that all current online communication will be replaced by Twitter by the year 2018.

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Notable quotable from this story

From Twitter to replace email by 2018
"If we can also learn to eliminate text (or leet) speak, then we really are left with a fantastic method of communication...." - see story

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Sound Guy Discovers Turning Everything Up On Equaliser Makes Music Sound Perfect

UK News 3

Tom Falconer, a sound guy for the St David's Church band in Maidenhead, has claimed to have discovered the perfect universal equalisation formula for mixing music according to independent audiophile magazine 'Acoustink'. The technique however is simply to just "turn all the knob...

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Camels to be recalled after one bites off man's head.

World Health 15

A camel has reportedly chewed off a man’s head after he left the animal tied up in the scorching...

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Microsoft to launch new Scorpio 4K Xbox; no plans for any games to be able to use capability during lifecycle

US News 7

Microsoft have this week released plans to produce and release a 4k capable Xbox in 2017, code-named Scorpio. Though the machine is said to be an upgrade of the current generation Xbox One, and thus with an expected lifecycle of approximately 3 to 4 further years, Microsoft offi...

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Out of control dumpster fire takes human form, learns speech, and urges Humanity that despite popular notions, fire is indeed NOT hot.

US News Politics 7

The anthropomorphic garbage fire, calling itself Al, held a press conference in the alleyway behind a New York City Denny's....

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Man loses weight by positive thinking

US News 6

TUSCON, ARIZONA. A forty seven year old American, known locally as plain old Bob, but on the curled up leathery manuscript of his birth certificate is labelled as Gregory Jones, today came to the attention of the world by declaring that he'd lost weight simply by thinking about...

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Tears of a clown found to have healing properties

US News Health 5

In science and health news today, special reports come through from our Russian colleagues at Laughingstok University, who have completed their studies into the various healing powers of tears. Motivated by the legendary story that Phoenix tears, made famous by Fawkes, the fiery...

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Paul Simon's name changed to Simon Paul after government database confuses forename and surname

US News Entertainment 3

Paul Simon is currently having to fight government officials for the right to use his real name. A recent passport application went awry as the government's database decided to invert his forename and surname, presumably in an automated cock-up that truly up-cocked his given...

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Medical breakthrough! Surgeons claim world first by transplanting common sense into Donald Trump!

US News Politics 9

Surgeons at the George W Bush Memory Memorial Hospital have claimed a medical breakthrough by transplanting common sense into US President Donald Trump....

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More Spoof news and satire from Laughsend

"EU may move on Brexit deal," says Hammond. "Or they may not." Read story "EU may move on Brexit deal," says Hammond. "Or they may not." Donald Trump's $5.7bn Wall Fund game show - Where's My Wig? Read story Donald Trump's $5.7bn Wall Fund game show - Where's My Wig? Facebook video of Polish Christmas market invokes ire of viewers Read story Facebook video of Polish Christmas market invokes ire of viewers It's official! Lancashire has more holes than anywhere else in the UK! "One swallowed my Bertie," claims distraught mother of nine. Read story It's official! Lancashire has more holes than anywhere else in the UK! "One swallowed my Bertie," claims distraught mother of nine. Teacher crisis! "Our children aren't getting no education!" claims Minister for Education. Read story Teacher crisis! "Our children aren't getting no education!" claims Minister for Education. Amanda Nunes following shocking first round knockout of Cris Cyborg at UFC 232: This is a victory for all lesbians Read story Amanda Nunes following shocking first round knockout of Cris Cyborg at UFC 232: This is a victory for all lesbians

Science and technology news is probably the headline section that we most enjoy writing for here at Laughsend. There's such an amazing array of funny things to write about, from hi-tech gadgets to Yahweh being found in a taco - two of our best parody writers have an IT background, and fight (scissors/paper/stone) for the right to write our technology articles, because they love their computers and gadgets so much. The other writer just likes to laugh at them while duelling, and in the background just write funny news stories about cool things like dinosaur's fridges, DNA that can make an inside-out you, and magnets - because they're so neat!

Given Time, by Paul London

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