Science & Technology

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Heck Yeah, America: Immortality Achievement Unlocked

US News Health 0

An earth-shattering breakthrough in the scientific community is changing the way Americans live. CapitalismTech, the California-based global leader of healthcare technology, discovered the medical key to immortality early last week. Chief of Development and Technology Cronk Trun...

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Sound Guy Discovers Turning Everything Up On Equaliser Makes Music Sound Perfect

UK News 3

Tom Falconer, a sound guy for the St David's Church band in Maidenhead, has claimed to have discovered the perfect universal equalisation formula for mixing music according to independent audiophile magazine 'Acoustink'. The technique however is simply to just "turn all the knob...

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Kissing top cause of UK school nits outbreaks claim boffins

UK News Health 4

Boffins at Laughingstate University yesterday released a report DAMNING UK schools for allowing pupils to share bodily fluids. The act, described by scientists as KISSING, was alleged to have been allowed in up to 97% of schools, and in those schools a WHOPPING 7% of children...

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Tears of a clown found to have healing properties

US News Health 5

In science and health news today, special reports come through from our Russian colleagues at Laughingstok University, who have completed their studies into the various healing powers of tears. Motivated by the legendary story that Phoenix tears, made famous by Fawkes, the fiery...

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Worlds most resilient plant discovered in unlikely place.

US News 1

Many would probably be inclined to answer cactus, if they were asked to crown the toughest plant on earth. Others might suggest some deep-dwelling seaweed or a beaten down sprout, struggling to make it on a snow-covered mountaintop....

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Craig Wright found to be creator of ancient bartering system

World Entertainment 4

The BBC, Guardian and NBC have today received definitive proof from Craig Wright that shows him to have been the originator of the first ever barter systems. Though many have suggested that the claims may be somewhat spurious, Wright has provided undeniable digital proofs of...

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86% of #monday #motivation tweets cause Twitter users to feel bad about themselves

World Health 5

Scientists and statisticians at Laughingstate University, Colorado, have today revealed findings of a three month study concerning the trending topic of #mondaymotivation stories appearing on Twitter. The 140 character long missives usually contain material promoting the user's...

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Man loses weight by positive thinking

US News 6

TUSCON, ARIZONA. A forty seven year old American, known locally as plain old Bob, but on the curled up leathery manuscript of his birth certificate is labelled as Gregory Jones, today came to the attention of the world by declaring that he'd lost weight simply by thinking about...

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More Spoof news and satire from Laughsend

Russian Coach: We are not afraid of Spain or Portugal Read story Russian Coach: We are not afraid of Spain or Portugal Cris Cyborg challenges WWE's branding of Ronda Rousey as the "Baddest Woman on the Planet" Read story Cris Cyborg challenges WWE's branding of Ronda Rousey as the "Baddest Woman on the Planet" Nicco Montano promises to knock out Valentina Shevchenko at UFC 228 Read story Nicco Montano promises to knock out Valentina Shevchenko at UFC 228 Joachim Low following Germany's last minute World Cup win over Sweden: "The sleeping giants have finally awoken" Read story Joachim Low following Germany's last minute World Cup win over Sweden: "The sleeping giants have finally awoken" Cris Cyborg wants to fight winner of Nunes vs. Pennington in unification "super-bout" Read story Cris Cyborg wants to fight winner of Nunes vs. Pennington in unification "super-bout" Joachim Low resigns as Germany coach; blames team's failure on "curse" Read story Joachim Low resigns as Germany coach; blames team's failure on "curse"

Science and technology news is probably the headline section that we most enjoy writing for here at Laughsend. There's such an amazing array of funny things to write about, from hi-tech gadgets to Yahweh being found in a taco - two of our best parody writers have an IT background, and fight (scissors/paper/stone) for the right to write our technology articles, because they love their computers and gadgets so much. The other writer just likes to laugh at them while duelling, and in the background just write funny news stories about cool things like dinosaur's fridges, DNA that can make an inside-out you, and magnets - because they're so neat!

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