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Twitter to replace email by 2018
Technologists have today make the bold claim that all current online communication will be replaced by Twitter by the year 2018.
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From Twitter to replace email by 2018
"If we can also learn to eliminate text (or leet) speak, then we really are left with a fantastic method of communication...." - see story
Sound Guy Discovers Turning Everything Up On Equaliser Makes Music Sound Perfect
UK News 3Tom Falconer, a sound guy for the St David's Church band in Maidenhead, has claimed to have discovered the perfect universal equalisation formula for mixing music according to independent audiophile magazine 'Acoustink'. The technique however is simply to just "turn all the knob...
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Camels to be recalled after one bites off man's head.
World Health 15A camel has reportedly chewed off a man’s head after he left the animal tied up in the scorching...
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Microsoft to launch new Scorpio 4K Xbox; no plans for any games to be able to use capability during lifecycle
US News 7Microsoft have this week released plans to produce and release a 4k capable Xbox in 2017, code-named Scorpio. Though the machine is said to be an upgrade of the current generation Xbox One, and thus with an expected lifecycle of approximately 3 to 4 further years, Microsoft offi...
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Out of control dumpster fire takes human form, learns speech, and urges Humanity that despite popular notions, fire is indeed NOT hot.
US News Politics 7The anthropomorphic garbage fire, calling itself Al, held a press conference in the alleyway behind a New York City Denny's....
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Man loses weight by positive thinking
US News 6TUSCON, ARIZONA. A forty seven year old American, known locally as plain old Bob, but on the curled up leathery manuscript of his birth certificate is labelled as Gregory Jones, today came to the attention of the world by declaring that he'd lost weight simply by thinking about...
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Tears of a clown found to have healing properties
US News Health 5In science and health news today, special reports come through from our Russian colleagues at Laughingstok University, who have completed their studies into the various healing powers of tears. Motivated by the legendary story that Phoenix tears, made famous by Fawkes, the fiery...
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Paul Simon's name changed to Simon Paul after government database confuses forename and surname
US News Entertainment 3Paul Simon is currently having to fight government officials for the right to use his real name. A recent passport application went awry as the government's database decided to invert his forename and surname, presumably in an automated cock-up that truly up-cocked his given...
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Medical breakthrough! Surgeons claim world first by transplanting common sense into Donald Trump!
US News Politics 9Surgeons at the George W Bush Memory Memorial Hospital have claimed a medical breakthrough by transplanting common sense into US President Donald Trump....
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