Science & Technology

Read story Twitter to replace email by 2018
US News 7

Technologists have today make the bold claim that all current online communication will be replaced by Twitter by the year 2018.

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Notable quotable from this story

From Twitter to replace email by 2018
"If we can also learn to eliminate text (or leet) speak, then we really are left with a fantastic method of communication...." - see story

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Facebook to no longer store any data about its users

World Entertainment 3

Facebook will no longer store any user data, according to the latest in a series of leaked documents from the technology company. The document came into the possession of New York Times lead techno journalist, Dr Randy Piper, who decided to upload the missive onto Pastebin.com, but accidentally did so while logged in as himself....

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Camels to be recalled after one bites off man's head.

World Health 15

A camel has reportedly chewed off a man’s head after he left the animal tied up in the scorching...

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Microsoft to launch new Scorpio 4K Xbox; no plans for any games to be able to use capability during lifecycle

US News 7

Microsoft have this week released plans to produce and release a 4k capable Xbox in 2017, code-named Scorpio. Though the machine is said to be an upgrade of the current generation Xbox One, and thus with an expected lifecycle of approximately 3 to 4 further years, Microsoft offi...

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Out of control dumpster fire takes human form, learns speech, and urges Humanity that despite popular notions, fire is indeed NOT hot.

US News Politics 7

The anthropomorphic garbage fire, calling itself Al, held a press conference in the alleyway behind a New York City Denny's....

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Facebook to merge Messenger, WhatsApp and Instagram. "It will be more useful for everyone," said Facebook. "Especially us."

World Business 0

Facebook is pushing ahead with plans to merge Facebook Messenger, WhatsApp and Instagram. The apps will remain separate but the integration will allow personal data to be shared between them...

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Worlds most resilient plant discovered in unlikely place.

US News 1

Many would probably be inclined to answer cactus, if they were asked to crown the toughest plant on earth. Others might suggest some deep-dwelling seaweed or a beaten down sprout, struggling to make it on a snow-covered mountaintop....

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Man loses weight by positive thinking

US News 6

TUSCON, ARIZONA. A forty seven year old American, known locally as plain old Bob, but on the curled up leathery manuscript of his birth certificate is labelled as Gregory Jones, today came to the attention of the world by declaring that he'd lost weight simply by thinking about...

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Tears of a clown found to have healing properties

US News Health 5

In science and health news today, special reports come through from our Russian colleagues at Laughingstok University, who have completed their studies into the various healing powers of tears. Motivated by the legendary story that Phoenix tears, made famous by Fawkes, the fiery...

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More Spoof news and satire from Laughsend

Medical breakthrough! Surgeons claim world first by transplanting common sense into Donald Trump! Read story Medical breakthrough! Surgeons claim world first by transplanting common sense into Donald Trump! Snow shock! Met Office claims, "It's not easy predicting the weather". Read story Snow shock! Met Office claims, "It's not easy predicting the weather". MP jailed in speeding case - "You ought to be hanged!" says judge. Read story MP jailed in speeding case - "You ought to be hanged!" says judge. Edinburgh energy supplier folds blaming global warming and gnarly Scots. Read story Edinburgh energy supplier folds blaming global warming and gnarly Scots. Morrisons trial 20p paper carrier bags. Verdict - guilty! Read story Morrisons trial 20p paper carrier bags. Verdict - guilty! Queen makes plea for "common ground" in a thinly-veiled plea for common ground. Read story Queen makes plea for "common ground" in a thinly-veiled plea for common ground.

Science and technology news is probably the headline section that we most enjoy writing for here at Laughsend. There's such an amazing array of funny things to write about, from hi-tech gadgets to Yahweh being found in a taco - two of our best parody writers have an IT background, and fight (scissors/paper/stone) for the right to write our technology articles, because they love their computers and gadgets so much. The other writer just likes to laugh at them while duelling, and in the background just write funny news stories about cool things like dinosaur's fridges, DNA that can make an inside-out you, and magnets - because they're so neat!

Given Time, by Paul London

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