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"Triple-DNA" Baby Born in UK, Causing Confusion Amongst Geneticists and Aliens Everywhere

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LONDON - In a landmark scientific breakthrough, a baby has been born that has genetic material from three different people. This has sent the world of science into chaos, with experts scrambling to figure out what to call this tripartite creation. "We're thinking about 'threeploid' or 'trigenesis'," says renowned geneticist Dr. Frankenstein.

The baby, named "DN3" by its parents, has genetic material from its mother, its father, and a third party. For years, researchers have been exploring the potential of combining genetic material of three people, and DN3 is the first living proof that it is possible. Initial reactions from the public have been mixed - some are horrified by the thought of "manipulating life" in such a way, while others are thrilled at the prospect of having a superior, turbo-charged baby.

However, there's a catch - although the parents were given a clean bill of health, little DN3 was born with some...ahem...quirks. "Let's just say DN3 has a few unexpected genetic features. It's got tentacles where its toes should be, feathers coming out of its ears, and a vestigial tail. Nothing major," says an anonymous source close to the family.

One potential explanation for these genetic anomalies is the "third wheel" in the mix. "We suspect that DN3's third genetic contributor was actually an alien life form," Dr. Frankenstein says. "This has never been done before, so we really don't know what to expect. All we know is that we're probably going to get a visit from some extraterrestrial parents demanding custody."

Despite the strange circumstances surrounding DN3's birth, its parents are overjoyed. "We don't care what anyone says. DN3 is our little miracle, and we love it unconditionally," says the baby's mother. "Plus, it'll make for a great conversation starter at baby groups!"

When asked for comment, a spokesperson from the British Society for Genetic Medicine simply said, "We don't even know where to begin with this one..."

In summary, as one unnamed person on the street put it, "Well, this is insane. We're living in the future, people. Just wait until they start unleashing T-Rexes from mosquitoes or something."

The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

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