Business

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Pharma company to start selling anti-viagra as answer to date-rape drugs

World Health 2

A pharmaceutical company based in England is set to start selling what has been dubbed as "anti-viagra", in some quarters, due to its ability to render a penis flaccid and unusable for up to 48 hours. The drug, whose chemical name is Lifeanedlis (which is Sildenafil in reverse),...

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Sex sells, claims business guru and financial expert Donald Trump

US News Politics 5

Business and financial guru slash expert Donald Trump has today announced his personal findings that "sex sells". The extraordinary pronouncement comes as the latest figures for the Presidential Election campaign show a slight fall in what has otherwise been a meteoric rise for...

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Pope Francis defends opening of Mc Donald's restaurant in the Vatican

World Politics 5

Despite all the protests from residents and cardinals, Pope Francis has come out in defense of the opening of a Mc Donald's restaurant in the Vatican. Speaking to L'Osservatore della Domenica today, the Holy Father had this to...

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Paddy Power and Betfair merger unleashes the gambling might of Gamblor

World 1

The merger of UK and Irish gambling firms Betfair and Paddy Power has allegedly troubled the giant snoozing frame of Gamblor, the seven foot three icon of gambling. Gamblor, 47, has spent much of the past decade in deep slumber after being initially brought to life during a cont...

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Japanese start-up to sell used female gym bike seats

UK News Health 7

Japanese start-up company Tentacle-Insertion-Company (TIC) has issued a press release today hailing their latest product: the used gym bicycle seat. Lucky members of a kickstarter project launched in early April are set to receive a guaranteed padded gym seat, sat and sweated on by the unmentionable female anatomy....

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Bank sponsored think-tank to suggest self-regulation as cure for cancer

World Health 2

ThinkBiggerBetterFasterStronger, a British based think-tank with strong ties to National Westminster Bank, has today released findings in a report that purports to show that banking self-regulation can literally be a cure for cancer. The report, which has allegedly taken several...

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"Bingo wings" fast-food industry saves dwindling food sector

World 0

Bingo Wings - the unsavoury arm flab, prevalent in those who have indulged in indolence and gluttony - are currently the champion of an otherwise stagnant food sector. The delicious white meat, named after the deliciously grotesque imagery of the bingo winner claiming their win...

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Trump warns babies to "get out of his way - Donald's gonna get ya!"

US News Politics 0

Donald Trump, the man who wants to be US President, has today issued a baffling and eerie warning to the children of America. The full text of the warning reads: "Get of my way - Donald's gonna get...

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