Sainsbury's and Unilever are in in together. Are you?

Sainsbury's and Unilever, the two corporations known for selling overpriced jam and margarine, respectively, have denied accusations of price-gouging.

The claims made against the two brands came as a shock to the public, who have been paying more for their products than necessary for years. "I can't believe they would do such a thing," said one shopper who spent £10 for a single jar of Sainsbury's strawberry jam. "That price seems perfectly reasonable to me," she added.

Another customer, while browsing the Unilever section, was heard muttering, "Makes sense to me that I'll have to sell my car to afford some Flora," before turning to the camera and saying, "I can't believe it's not highway robbery!"

The Sainsbury's and Unilever CEOs held a joint press conference to deny the allegations. "Our prices are fair and reasonable," said the Sainsbury's CEO, as he casually wiped the crumbs of his toast and caviar mixture from his lipstick-stained chin.

The Unilever CEO took a different approach, saying, "We don't set prices, the market does. And if the market dictates that a container of margarine is worth a month's rent, then so be it."

When asked about their consumer's reactions, the Sainsbury's CEO said, "We value our customers and their opinions," before pausing to hand his assistant a £50 note to dispose of in the nearest trash can. "And we will continue to provide them with the highest quality products at the lowest possible prices," he added with a theatrical wink.

The Unilever CEO had this to say about customers complaining about the cost of their products: "They're just a little bit slow to catch up with the times. They're still living in the era where they think they should only be paying 50 pence for a loaf of bread. It's just not realistic."

The press conference ended with the two CEOs being showered with wads of cash by their adoring employees. "We're just so lucky to work for such generous and kind-hearted people," said one employee, wiping tears of joy from her eyes.

As for the public's reaction to Sainsbury's and Unilever's denial of price hikes, one shopper expressed their skepticism by saying, "I don't believe a word they say. It's just like their margarine â€" it's all fake and full of chemicals."