UK News Health Sci / Tech

Local Farmer Shocked to Discover Cows Could Fly, But Chose Not To

story image about cows and Discover Cows Could
0 comment(s)
Report story

In a groundbreaking discovery, local dairy farmer, Bob Johnson, made a startling revelation after noticing a group of his cows levitating in the fields.

"I couldn't believe my eyes at first," said Johnson. "I thought maybe I was seeing things. But then they started floating around like balloons and I was like, 'Wow, cows can fly! Why didn't anybody tell me this?'"

Despite the shocking news, scientists have confirmed that cows have had the ability to fly for centuries, but have chosen not to due to their fear of heights.

"We've known about this for ages, but we didn't think it was worth mentioning," said Dr. Jane Smith of the National Institute of Flying Cows. "They just prefer to keep their hooves on the ground. It's a comfort thing."

The news has sent shockwaves across the world, with many people expressing their surprise and confusion.

"I always knew there was something special about cows," said local resident, Karen Greene. "But I never thought they could fly. This changes everything."

Meanwhile, animal rights activists have raised concerns about the impact this discovery could have on the dairy industry.

"We have to ask ourselves, do we really want to be exploiting animals who have the power of flight?" said PETA spokesperson, Lisa Johnson. "It's time for a serious conversation about the ethics of dairy farming."

As for the cows, their response has been uneventful as usual. They have continued grazing on grass and mooing aimlessly, completely unaware of the shock and amazement they have caused.

"They're just cows, man," said Johnson. "They don't know any better. Although, I did hear one of them whisper 'To fly or not to fly, that is the question.' It was a moo-velous moment."

The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

Headlines like this

thumbnail for item Giant Godzilla Planet

Mega Earth discovered by Godzilla

World Sci / Tech 4

A new planet, dubbed Mega Earth by its discoverer, has been identified orbiting around a giant star approximately 4.65 light years from Earth. News of the discovery was broken...

read more
10 years ago


This content hasn't made people froth at the mouth with comments yet. Why not be the first to add one?

To add a comment you must first sign up and login.

Capricorn horoscope

Hope can be found in the bottom of some packets of cereal. However, relying on this fact is probably a folly you shou......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

thumbnail for Celine Dion news story Titanic Wreck Scanned, Celine Dion Weeps With Envy thumbnail for Bush news story George W Bush to Take Over as the New Host of The Price is Right and Finally Find the Weapons of Mass Destruction
Funny RSS feed